Any object that brings to mind the phrase "moo cow milker" is unfit to be considered a sex toy. The nasty thing may distinguish itself from your leeches by lacking the ability to inject an anticoagulant or inflict a tripartite, star-shaped scar, but that's about the best that can be said for it.
That's enough of that. Go read Christopher Hitchens's entertaining intellectual history of the all-American blow job in this month's Vanity Fair, or turn up an obituary of John Money, the seminal gender researcher who died this week after a long career as first the hero and then the bogey man of trans- and intersexuals everywhere, and you'll know as much as I do this week. I gotta go change diapers, and that isn't sexy either.