This leaves me, an inveterate champion of the underdog, in the position of having to defend the poor, disrespected hand job. Besides the obvious safety issue, they're, um, easy. They don't make you gag, not unless something nearly unimaginable disgusting is going on. They're a good way to learn about penises. This last is true, actually, since for some reason most girls start out believing that a penis ought to be patted gently on the head, like an elderly lap dog, while in truth they can, and ought, to be wrangled, roped, and thrown like a rodeo doggie. Only hands-on learning will do.
So this is what I told the writer from Details: "After its high school glory days, the hand job may go underground, but it's rarely completely missing from a couple's repertoire. It's just that it becomes a tool, or a tool of a tool, rather than an act in its own right. Foreplay without any hand play, for instance, would become sort of a special trick, like writing a paragraph without using any e's."
Andrea Nemerson teaches sex and communication skills with San Francisco Sex Information. She has been a theater artist, a women's health educator, and a composting instructor, but not at the same time. She is considering offering a workshop on how to have and rear twins without going crazy, since she's currently doing that too.