Somewhere between "Don't frighten the horses" and "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" lies the perfect level of public self-expression for you two as individuals of your particular place and time. Find it. Also consider finding some fellow gender traitors with whom to make your scene, even if that scene is no more trangressive than going out for fish and chips (I'm pretty sure that's what I ate at your local brew pub while waiting for our truck to be fixed so we could get the hell out of there) and the late showing of Snakes on a Plane. I think you'll be OK. I wouldn't recommend the Starbucksball gag excursion, but that's because it's in bad taste, not because it could get you killed. You'll have to use your common sense. If you haven't got any, I really do think you'd better stay home. Love, Andrea
Andrea's on vacation this week: this column ran previously (8/22/06). But she's still checking e-mail and eagerly awaiting your questions about love and lust! Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.