Imagine how close you'll feel after you've both thrown up in the cab on the ride home.
ON THE ROCKS
You know when you're there: Your significant other's adorable half snore becomes your every sleepless night. You've heard all the stories a million times ("Enough with the fucking pygmies!"). You know it. Your SO knows it. It's over. But neither of you has the heart to put your doomed union out of its misery on the most romantic day of the year. Ryoko's Japanese Restaurant (619 Taylor, SF; 415-775-1028) in Nob Hill provides the perfect distraction from your imploding relationship. When a DJ isn't spinning, there's loud '80s music. The sake bombs offer a satisfying outlet for aggression. And if you need something even stronger, you're in luck: Ryoko's is one of the few sushi joints in town to also feature a full bar.
ON THE DL
When engaged in an illicit affair, road-trip! Put a bridge, a tunnel, or any of the Bay Area's other engineering obstacles between your significant other and your significant other. "Baby, I'm not embarrassed by you I just know this great little Italian place in Crockett." Try Barolo (404 San Pedro, Pacifica; 650-355-5980, www.barolopacifica.com) for private pasta, Graffiti (101 Second St., Petaluma; 707-765-4567, www.graffitipetaluma.com) for surreptitious seafood, or Petals (639 First St., Benicia; 707-748-5695, www.petalsrestaurant.com) for furtive Asian fusion.
GETTING OVER IT
When having an antiValentine's Day dinner with another recently single friend, you need tequila! Nothing says "I'm so over it" more than shrimp tacos and Cazadores with a totally platonic friend. Playa Azul (3318 Mission, SF; 415-282-4554) has a wide enough selection to keep the shots flowing all night. And if your hands meet, for an instant, in the chip bowl, well ...