A spree-killer's attack on the magazine rack

Vanity Fair would like to know: "Who Says Women Aren't Funny?" Magazinester would like to know: "Who Says Women of Color Aren't Funny?" Granted, Wanda Sykes and Maya Rudolph represent. But why no Margaret Cho? Also, "Who Says a Story Like This Makes Up for Vanity Fair Saying Women Aren't Funny in the First Place?," seeing as how the entire cover package is a response to Christopher Hitchens's 2007 essay, "Why Women Aren't Funny," for the same magazine.

Beefcake competing in this month's sultry man-stare contest: George Clooney (Esquire) and Eric Bana (GQ). Does Daniel Craig on the cover of British rag Arena count?

Random quote from another British import, Mojo, on the subject of Harry Nilsson's Nilsson Schmilsson: "Arrogant proof of Harry's belief in his own genius."

ReadyMade offers tips on "How to Mount Heavy Stuff," but can't resist snarking on velvet Elvis paintings. Another feature challenges three designers to redesign an Ikea bookshelf into something less grossly prefab-looking, including a pretty nifty credenza.

The American version of OK! promises a peek at Britney Spears's home life — yikes! — but reveals little beyond quotes from anonymous "frequent visitors." Spears is apparently a neat freak who "loves rearranging her furniture and fluffing up her pillows." Shocking! Other features in this issue include the expected "Who Wore It Better?" and "What Were They Thinking?" fashion spreads, as well as mad doting on the lavish lives of celebrity offspring like Violet Affleck, Kingston Rossdale, and Brangelina's assorted shorties. Clearly, the market demands a mag called Hollywood Tots. Coming soon, no doubt.

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