What's a nice person to do? - Page 2


How far back is the reasonable woman (and you do sound like one of those) supposed to go?

It's not that one's ethics should be built on a foundation of "is it convenient for me?", but one does have to take into account whether something can even be done before deciding that doing it is the only ethical choice. If you and your exes tended to get around rather freely and not keep much track, then there is a very high probability that they have been exposed, completely independent of any contact with you or your contacts. Women with lots of partners are probably getting Pap smears too — or at least we'd better hope they are. If you were HPV positive back then, it's possible you were responsible for a secondhand infection. But you will never find that person now, and she will have discovered it one way or another.

If, on the other hand, you had two boyfriends and your husband had two girlfriends, and one of you may have infected one of that small group, drop them a line if possible. After you get your (positive) HPV test. Otherwise, forget it.

Andrea is home with the kids and going stir-crazy. Write her a letter! Ask her a question! Send her your tedious e-mail forwards! On second thought, don't do that. Just ask her a question.

Visit Andrea's new blog: www.gogetyourjacket.com

Also from this author

  • Sexual evolution

    alt.sex.column says so long -- and thanks for all the fish

  • Obstructions abound

  • alt.sex.column: Not the gerbil!