SUPER EGO "Last year one of my balls failed to inflate during my opening number 'Big Balls' but the concept got across, so it wasn't a total disaster," the spunky Fudgie Frottage, organizer and host of this year's 13th San Francisco Drag King Contest, told me when I asked him about any unlucky past fake-mustachioed experiences at the event. The show must go on even through a sheer testicle of will.
Beijing may be in full abs-a-poppin' swing boo on those new body-covering men's swimming outfits! but San Francisco's hosting a cross-dressed Olympics of its own, as drag aficionados from around the glistening globe flood in for the always-balls-out Drag King Contest at the DNA Lounge Aug. 16, and then the sublebrity-studded Trannyshack Kiss-Off extravaganza at the Regency Center Aug. 23. No fried Tibetan monks on the menu, but dog will indeed be served. Take that, Lang Lang!
The year in drag is turning out to be very auspicious: the Kiss-Off marks the end of Trannyshack's bloody 12-year weekly run at the Stud. Hostess Heklina ("Press is like crack to me, Marke B. Run my picture and feel my orgasm!") told me back in February that she's hanging up her lamé panties to explore her inner self and her club's swan song showcases appearances by Lady Bunny, Lady Miss Kier, Ana Matronic, and Justin Bond, as well as a pageant to determine this year's (final?) Miss Trannyshack. Heklina will be beheaded live onstage.
On the slightly hairier hand, the Drag King Contest will display a mucho macho gaggle of faux Ys competing to see who sends up stereotypical chauvinism the mostest, replete with jizz-juicing antics, ass-scratching hotties, and performances by Electro the Pop 'n' Lock King, Siemen Marcus, Fakin' Aiken, the Pacmen from Sacramento, and a ton more, plus bonerific cohost the Indra. Think America's Got Talent crossed with a monster truck show, add more pubic hair and aerialist burlesque, and you're halfway there.
Fudgie's and Heklina's provenance sprang from SF's early 1990s drag renaissance club Klubstitute. Fudgie, a.k.a. Lu Read, started his legendary DragStrip party, which ran from 1995 to 1996, when Klubstitute shuttered. (Fun fact: DragStrip's VIP room was called "Dungeons and Drag Queens.") Heklina's Trannyshack took the wigged-out craziness from there. Although drag queens get all the freakin' press, and there's still no sustained drag king visibility in the city "We're looking for our Bizarro RuPaul," says Fudgie of his scene's need for mainstream promotion I'm sure the drag queen spawn now shooting from Heklina's sticky womb will keep Trannyshack's trashy aesthetic alive and well. As for the kings? Those smokin' papis can perform in my Dumpster bedroom anytime.
Now, who'll kick start the drag bisexual scene? Oh, wait: Tila Tequila.
13TH ANNUAL DRAG KING CONTEST
Sat/16, 8 p.m., $20$25
375 11th St., SF
Aug. 23, 9 p.m., $35$45
1300 Sutter, SF