Don't you think, as a married woman who was concerned about the state of her marriage (or really, just a married woman, period), that was ... unwise?
Gallivanting off with Boyfriend and then complaining, once it's over, that your husband is just as apparently uninterested in you as before and wondering how do you fix him is not cricket. It isn't fair to your husband to use him as a somewhat unsatisfactory second-stringer, and worse (at least for you), I don't think it's going to work. I think the next time you get mad at him for his inherent or reactive cold-fishiness, you are going to slip up and, instead of merely threatening to leave him, crow that you did, in fact, leave him for three years and he never noticed. And that will be that. I think, since you have nothing good to say for him beyond "he's a good man and I figured I just had to put up with him," you ought to let him go. Surely being unsatisfied and miserable is not your lot in life, any more than being treated as a combination encumbrance and convenience ought to be his, poor guy.
Got a salacious subject you want Andrea to discuss? Ask her a question!