she shouldn't do it?

I'll tell you what: why don't you back off on the dirty talk and leave her underthings alone while she goes to therapy? Maybe the two of you could go together for a few sessions. Then later, when she's no longer mired in the self-loathing she brought upon herself by cheating on you in the first place, and you are feeling more secure because she's not cheating on you, you can revisit the cheating-wife fantasy. Until then, everybody just grow up already. There's more to life (and marriage) than "But I want to!" My son pulls that on us all the time, and we don't fall for it — and he's all of two years old.

Love,

Andrea

Andrea is teaching Sex After Parenthood at Day One Center (www.dayonecenter.com), Recess (info@recessurbanrecreation.com), and privately. Contact her at andrea@altsexcolumn.com for more info.