Not too sexy, but not the end of the world either."
So there you have it. Take a shower. Take two.
Now, about your bendy guy. That's really funny, since people who talk about women's sexual anatomy and response (that would be me) are forever pointing out that you can have things stuck up there all your life and never have an orgasm from it because that spot, you know the one, just doesn't get enough attention unless the penetrative device has a bend in it. Fingers (crooked) work. Purpose-made toys work. That thing most obviously intended for penetrative purposes, though, that just doesn't work. Except when it does! You're having the time of your life? Isn't that good enough? I'm sorry, but there really is no other fix. Your fella's may bend, but it doesn't want to bend back. You don't want to be responsible for what could happen if you try to bend it back. So I think you're going to have to count your blessings and stick with what works. At least, in your case, it works very well indeed, and that is so much better than it works for so many other couples that all I can say is keep that guy; you'd miss him.
Check out Andrea's new column "Now What?" in the cool new sex zine Carnal Nation (carnalnation.com). Catch Andrea's workshop "Is There Sex After Baby?" at Recess Urban Recreation (recessurbanrecreation.com ) March 30. Andif you have wondered about San Francisco Sex Information's famous sex educator trainings but never did anything about it, here's your chance. Classes start soon. Info and registration at sfsi.org.