True, "nobody wants to date me" is not your most scintilutf8g subject and may not inspire the complainant to dazzling heights of witty word play, but come on. A little joke, some narrative flair, even a pun would help — and I hate puns. Lonely guy, spark it up. Maybe they're not calling back because they fell asleep.

OK readers, your turn. Have at him. Female daters, would you answer his ad? And have you dated (some version of) this guy? What made you stop?

I recently bought both my kids T-shirts that say "When I Grow Up I'm Going To Save The World." (That these were available in the boys' department only is an issue for another column.) I'm already grown up, and frankly, I don't think I'm going to save the world, but hey, let's save this guy.

What would it take to get him a date?

Love,

Andrea

Don't forget to read Andrea at Carnal Nation.com.