(500) Days of Billboard

Absurdly humorous, but where's the rom part of the rom-com equation?

Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me": Cinderella meets American Beauty (1999) — leached of all the sinister aspects of voyeurism and loaded with an inevitable happy ending. Can you believe the country music sweetheart would ever pass as an ugly duckling? The banjo-embellished up-tempo number could work as the backing track for a down-home swimming hole scene or all-American road trip rom-com montage.

Keri Hilson's "Knock You Down" featuring Kanye West and Ne-Yo: Feh. Knockable, ephemeral pop with a tossed-off Reebok rhyme by West, who, in the video, looks like he's gearing up for a backup career as an actor. Overall I prefer "Turnin' Me On," though Hilson's disco-ball booties here are covetable.

Kings of Leon's "Use Somebody": Will I ever be able to stop cringing after a song title like "Sex on Fire"? This tune was obviously crafted for strategic placement in the why-did-I-lose-her/him scene in our imaginary chick flick. So why do I feel so ... used the moment the number ends? Could it be the gratuitous, freeze-frame-able backstage butt shot? These guys could do better — and so could your next Katherine Heigl vehicle.