Whether it's because the taboo is the hot, or because women appear to be, by and large, rather more flexible of sexual orientation than men are, it seems that a lot of women who would never dream of having sex with a man do, in fact, dream of having sex with men. It's inconvenient, uncomfortable, and politically incorrect, but that doesn't make it not true.
There. I've normalized it for you. I hope it helps. I did forget to ask you one thing, though, a thing about Things: if you really want to feel a Thing in there, have you considered just buying one? They're not the same, it's true, but then again the Things you've been thinking of aren't real either. Like the song says, it's all only make-believe.
See Andrea's other column at carnalnation.com.