If the answer is no, no, no, and no, and this is just who he is a guy who's interested in sex four times a year and anything extra just seems unnecessary or unappealing then you're going to have to figure out if there's some way you can get your itches scratched. Maybe he'd be happy just holding you while you take care of things for yourself. Maybe he'd be OK if you had a "friend." Maybe he needs a check-up and a meds adjustment and all will be well after that. You're going to have to find out, is all. I don't care if it's hard. And that's not what she said, or so I hear.
See Andrea's other column at carnalnation.com.