If he cannot be spurred to mutuality, you can always just say "OK, don't mind me, then!" and reach for your sex tool (now that I have kids and approximately 1 billion actual toys the word "toys," like "play" and "play date" has been substantially desexified for me, so I'm trying something new here; do we like it?) and have it as though he weren't there. And if that doesn't seem doable, excuse yourself and come back when you're done.
The most interesting part of your question, to me, was actually none of this stuff, but the part that people would think you were awful if you were a guy pressuring a girl for sex. And my answer is yes, they totally would. But that is no excuse to do it yourself.
See Andrea's other column at carnalnation.com.