Party hearty, Snuggles: our throbbing list of Valentine's weekend shindigs just might update your status
It's the sixth anniversary of this pants on the ground must, with nubile flesh amply and cheekily displayed to indie-rock and hip-hop tunes from Jamie Jams, Emdee, Lil' Melanie, and Aidan. Flash that bulging polka-dotted Ginch Gonch, brother.
Sat/13, 9 p.m., $10. The Knockout, 3223 Mission, SF. www.theknockoutsf.com
COCKBLOCK: THE LOVE PARTY
Who doesn't want to feel the love of dozens of punkish young lezzies and bois with amazing hair, raising their cans to the heavy dance tunes of DJ Nuxx and Kidd Sysko
Sat/13, 10 p.m., $7. Rickshaw Stop, 155 Fell, SF. www.cockblocksf.com
LE PERLE DEGLI SQUALLOR
Who needs love when you can have delicious anonymous queer encounters, which are also a form of love? A trickin' chicken, tonsil-ticklin', fanny-fondlin', disco rareties free-for-all, tenderly sprayed down from DJ Bus Station John.
Sat/13, 10 p.m., $5. Hot Spot, 1414 Market, SF.
MY BLOODY VALENTINE BINGO
Oh, those Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence — always getting pancake on my pants. It'll be a "zombie of a good time" when our patron saints preside over a horrifically lovely zombie-themed installment of their charitable bingo bonanza. Even the undead need love.
Sat/13, 4 p.m.–7 p.m., donations encouraged. Veteran's War Memorial, second floor, 401 Van Ness, SF. www.thesisters.org
PARADISE LOVERS DISCO
Singles going steady on the dance floor, please, for this retro-disco and lovebug-boogie extravaganza. DJs from Gemini Disco, Beat Electric, Donuts, Honey Soundsystem, and Sweaterfunk get all underground and passionate. Cheap, too.
Sat/13, 9 p.m.–3 a.m., $5. Mezzanine, 444 Jessie, SF. www.mezzaninesf.com
"A LOVELYFUCKING SUNDAY"
Why all the bitterness, when weekly bassbin funk-rap blowout Lowbrow has DJs Roost Uno, Smashy Trashy, Pony P, and Pozibelle on tap (and $2 brews). Plus, "photos by many drunk girls and most likely members of Ron Jeremy Fan Club." I have no idea, but I like it.
Sun/14, 9 p.m., free. Delirium, 3139 16th St., SF. www.lowsf.com
HONEY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS
A Honey Sunday "leather discotheque Valentine's" from Honey Soundsystem that will whip your lonely ticker into a frenzy — probably a tipsy frenzy, if you take advantage of the $8 beer bust until 11 p.m., DJ Ken Vulsion, Pee Play, and Derek Bobus make it work.
Sun/14, 9 p.m., $3. Paradise Lounge, 1501 Folsom, SF. www.honeysoundsystem.com
HUGS 'N HEARTS
Monthly three-ring kiki-athon Big Top is a circus, and its special V-Day party will be a zoo, with NYC homo-rapper Cazwell and club legend Amanda LePore (she sings!) in town to stir things up. Heklina hostesses.
Sun/14, 9 p.m., $10–$25. Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, SF. www.eightsf.com
JUSTIN BOND: CLOSE TO YOU
The fantastical creature who jumped from local club kid talent to legend of New York stage (Tony nom, anyone?) is back with a freakin' 10-piece orchestra to sing his favorite Carpenters' songs. Mellow gold, child.
Sun/14, 8:15, $25-$75. Castro Theatre, 419 Castro, SF. www.ticketweb.com