Let's talk

Sandra Bernhard goes off wonderfully. Plus: Queensday, Devotion, and a goth-industrial bacchanal

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Oh, she'll go there.

SUPEREGO The last time I got on the horn with scaldingly hilarious comedian Sandra Bernhard — one of the few people who can make me blush without pulling down their pants — it was the tail-end of that heady year, 2007. Remember then? Baby electro-hipsters were tiring of Justice, shutter shades caused several horrible traffic accidents, and Sandra was just about to blossom into a full-fledged political scandaleuse, among the first to publicly call out Sarah Palin for her anti-woman stance. ("A turncoat bitch whore in cheap-ass fucking New Vision plastic glasses" — those were fightin' words back then.) I seem to recall we ranted about tight-fisted lesbians who won't pay for extra corn bread. Things seemed so innocent ...

Sandra's coming into town to host a star-studded fundraiser for one of my favorite HIV/AIDS charities, Maitri, which cares for people severely debilitated by the disease. Although she's settled down in New York City with her partner, daughter, and new dog, George, her sharp sense of outrage hasn't dimmed one whit. This time, our goats were got and blazing over the just-passed, heinous Arizona "immigration law" that effectively criminalizes walking while brown. I love Real America! It's like a marshmallow with a mullet. And not the hip kind of pony-hair mullet with shaved patches all the kids in Mexico are rocking this year.

"What the fuck is wrong with these people?" Sandra warmed up. "Nobody wants to say that these Teabaggers are racist, but, honey, let there be no question, they are racists. Here we have a handsome, incredibly intelligent black man as president, with a smart, beautiful wife and two great children — and these people are fucking losing their shit over it. They just can't deal! All these creepy white men in their little super-secret militias who are freaking out because there are so many hot, chic people of color around them.

"Seriously, it makes me want to hurl. 'Brown people get out!' All I can say is, they better look into their family tree. We all started brown, honey. You want to take your country back? Back to what? Slavery? When women had to shut up? When we were all sharecroppers? Go have your little fantasy backwards country on the Internet or something. Look, I pay a lot more money in taxes than most of these tea people, and I am just fine with helping people afford health care, helping people get educated, fixing the infrastructure. Whatever happened to compassion? The world is so out of balance. We need to pull together and do what we can to make things better for everyone."

BLISS

Hosted by Sandra Bernhard

Sunday, May 2, 6 p.m.–10 p.m., $150

Golden Gate Club

135 Fisher Loop, SF

www.maitrisf.org

MEAT VS. DEATH GUILD

Retro madness will surely be the fly on the windscreen, the fetus on your breath when SF's biggest goth and industrial nights black-celebrate four years of unnerving collaboration. DJs Decay, BaconMonkey, Melting Girl, and more are your skinny puppies.

Fri/30, 8:30 p.m.–late, $8. DNA Lounge, 375 11th St., SF. www.meatsf.com

QUEENSDAY 2010

Did you know that, on one magical day a year, Dutch kids wear bright orange and dance around to Tiësto trance and Hollandaise hip-hop in honor of Queen Beatrix van Oranje-Nassau's birthday? Neither-lands did I. DJ Marcus brings the hiep hiep hoera.

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