The SF girls of Leather ♥ cute kink and breaking down stereotypes
SEX It was their first official slumber party and a late-night run to the grocery store for pink hair dye was in order. Decked out in a combination of pink, pajamas, and leather, the San Francisco girls of Leather shrieked and giggled as they wandered the aisles searching for anything rosy-colored. The girls could easily have been mistaken for a freshman herd of coeds soaked in Malibu and cheap vodka, but as the group's president, Leland, remembers, they were "just high on girls."
Until they discovered the store's collection of pink and white unicorns — on sale.
"We all oohed and ahhed and ended up purchasing six of them, surprising the other girls by returning to the party with an entire unicorn herd," Leland says. From sleeping bags and hair braiding to dirty storytelling and play piercing, the night teetered between innocent and naughty, sweet and sexy. "So many unicorns, so many needles, and so much blood!" she said.
The SF girls of Leather (the girls prefer a lowercase "g" and uppercase "L" out of respect for the traditions of the leather community) are giddy and flirty: the epitome of seventh-grade girliness, complete with kinky sleepovers, hearts, and cuteness. As this year-old group sees it, maturity is overrated when it comes to BDSM — and a hint of silliness in a dark dungeon can only heighten the sex appeal. Who else is going to giggle or blush after a spank?
The group's approach to leather is hardly in line with the masculine traditions that have come to be associated with the history of the kink community. But in the year since the girls formed their group, they've been working to secure their place in the continuum of leather lovers. And judging from the group's growing membership — and accolades from the leather community at large — SFgoL is providing a much-needed refuge for marginalized fans of lighthearted play, splashing accents of pink across the traditional wash of black.
Historically, a girl in the leather community has been defined as the female-identified version of a boy — a submissive expected to service a dominant individual in various kinds of BDSM play. But in SFgoL parlance, girl means something way more fun. Top, bottom, submissive, dominant, giver, receiver, experienced, or curious: all roles are welcome in the group, as long as you "girl" identify.
Which means what, exactly?
"Leather doesn't have to be serious," says Leland, who is of the mind that people of all ages, bodies, and sexual preferences can find bliss by tapping into their own personalized "girl-space."
"You're a leathergirl if you feel like it," says SFgoL Vice President Kate McKinley. Even boys and bois are allowed in the group — as long as they have a "girl heart." Coincidentally, McKinley wears one of these around her neck — a silver heart necklace.
"I play girly and therefore this group is where I belong," she says.
An important tenet of the leather life, service (traditionally, the practice of obediently pleasing a dominant character) is still an integral part of the girl group's goals — but its definition of the term goes beyond tending to masters and daddies.
In the year since the group's inception, SFgoL has volunteered at multiple fundraisers and organized charity drives for nonprofits benefiting women in the leather community and beyond. Members are free to service individuals but are required to serve the community by means of philanthropy: grown-up Girl Scouts earning merit badges for kink.
Their efforts haven't gone unnoticed — the San Francisco Bay Area Leather Alliance recognized SFgoL as its best new organization of 2010. "Contributing to the community makes it easier for us to enjoy what we're doing," says SFgoL member Anita, who asked that we not use her last name for professional reasons.
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