Editor's notes

Tim Redmond's New Year resolutions for the Occupiers, fellow dog walkers, the Obama Administration, etc. 



I'm not good at holidays. When your world is made of deadlines, the holidays are just one more — gotta get the kids presents, gotta get the tree, gotta make plans, gotta do dinner ... one more set of hassles. Bah humbug.

And I've never been a big fan of New Year's Eve. Too many people acting like they've never been drunk before and will never be drunk again, and everything costs too much. I drink every day; I can miss New Year's Eve. Party pooper.

So I don't do my own new year's resolutions; I do them for other people. This is what I would like everyone else to do in 2012:

I would like the Occupy organizers to put together a massive day of teach-ins and a march on Washington in the spring, to keep the movement alive and bring in a lot more people.

I would like my fellow dog owners to pick up the shit off the sidewalks.

I would like the Department of Parking and Traffic to put up No Left Turn signs on 16th Street at Potrero and Bryant.

I would like Visconti to lower the price on that really cool lava fountain pen.

I would like the transportation whizzes at City Hall to figure out how to put bike lanes on Oak Street so I can ride back from Golden Gate Park as safely as I can ride to the park.

I would like the supervisors to change the rules for Question Time so the mayor doesn't get all the questions in advance and there's a chance for real discussion that isn't stupid and boring.

I would like middle school English teachers in San Francisco to explain to their students that homeless people are not "hobos."

I would like the Obama Administration to quit hassling pot dispensaries.

I would like the airlines to start serving cocktails before takeoff.

I would like the thriller writers of America to learn how to write decent sex scenes.

I would like Jerry Brown to endorse the initiative to outlaw the death penalty.

I would like everyone in politics to stop saying the words "together" and "shared" since we aren't together and I don't want to share with the rich.

Anything else? Happy New Year.

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