SUPER EGO And so it came to pass a few weeks ago that I found myself volunteering to chaperone a dance for 500 queer teens. I'm not ready yet to be a DILF! But these weren't just any queer teens. They were activists from Northern California Gay-Straight Alliance high school clubs (www.gsanetwork.org), gathered at Horace Mann Elementary in San Francisco to learn how to help their teachers understand the new California FAIR Act, which requires lessons about LGBT history and people with disabilities.
This dance was the official afterparty. And yes, there was a drag fashion catwalk portion of the program. And yes I was slain by the gorgeous seven-foot Samoan trans girl in a miniskirt and deconstructed 49ers jersey. Let me tell you all those kids were fierce, from their enormous brains to their personalized shoes. ("I'm flying to the White House in a couple days to meet Obama," one casually told me. And then there they were on her Facebook.)
Of course they were wonderfully goofy, too, with fuzzy backpacks, sudden laughs, and rainbow braces. But even though the stylized accouterments of queer rebellion, codified in the 1990s, were in evidence — pierced lips, dyed hair, ripped tights, "emo face" — most used mainstream pop signifiers to smooth out any difference, singing "Born This Way" together on the jungle gym, throwing their hands up to Katy Perry on the dancefloor, doing the "Time Warp" together during assembly. "You'll know this song from Glee," the MC introduced the Rocky Horror classic, and they all did.
It certainly gave me a lot to think about (besides the viability of my cardboard-box retirement plan). But with all the glorious acceptance and positive energy, I soon found my snobby self pogo-ing along with them to "Sexy and I Know It." Wasn't the queer revolution supposed to be soundtracked by Fugazi, Nas, and acid house? Loosen up, punk rock grandpa! Despite our current moment's bout of conformity, the future — the queer one, at least — looks almost too sexy for its shirt.
Folsom Street Fair moves up: Oracle Open World will be a lot less kinky than it sounds this year — the massive tech conference has booked up all the hotel rooms in the city for the last weekend of September. Oops: that's also the same weekend as Folsom Street Fair. Or was. The Folsom folks decided that rather than risk stuffing five hundred thousand frisky fetishists into the city's nether nooks and crannies, they would move the fair up a week to Sunday, September 23, 2012. (Which, perhaps coincidentally, is International Celebrate Bisexuality Day!)
Fret not, though, there'll still be plenty of fisting for all — not to mention the usual glut of fantastic Folsom entertainment and spectacle, especially on the music front. In a steamy backroom at an undisclosed location, hunky Executive Director Demetri Moshoyannis told me, his towel slipping coquettishly, "This change of schedule has happened really early in the game for us. So right now we don't have any confirmed musical guests, although we do have our wish lists. And we will be attending Coachella to see who'd be a perfect fit for us." Kinky Oraclers, you'll just have to extend your stay.
BLOWUP: NYE REDO
Why wait another whole year? Relive the blurry highs and scandalous lows right now with the glamorous/insane Blowup electro family: balloon drop, midnight champagne toast, and wild tunes from Vin Sol and Jeffrey Paradise.
Fri/6, 10 p.m., $10–$15. DNA Lounge, 375 11th St., SF. www.blowupsf.com
Wicked based-goth monthly 120 Minutes fires up its hip-hop side (think Waka Flocka Flame but warped in Hades) with this fascinating queer amalgamation of nihilistic underground pop-rap. Lil Debbie cameo in her "Dirty Bitch" video? OK!