QUEER ISSUE: Our annual guide to the (actually!) coolest Pride events
Marga and the Babes queer comedy LGBT Center, 1800 Market, SF. www.queerculturalcenter.org. Marga Gomez does a mean Desi Arnaz impersonation (among her other talents). Join the Bay favorite yuckster and adorable queer comics Natasha Muse and Justin Lucas tonight.
MR. Monarch, 101 Sixth St., SF. www.clubmonarch.net. 9pm-4am, $15. It's the last twirl for this fabulous annual dance-around hoo-haw: Slammin' (real) house DJs David Harness, Ellen Ferrato, and Rolo spin some amazing tunes to help you find a fine fellow whisker whisperer or just a quick ride. Borrow a mustache; this'll be a good one.
Neon Vinyl The Ambassador, 673 Geary, SF. www.ambassador415.com. 10pm, free. DJs Enso, Kool Karlo, and Ilya bring future-retro Pride beats and decades of dance tracks poured through a house filter.
Old French Hole The Knockout, 3223 Mission, SF. www.theknockoutsf.com. 9pm-2am, $5. Assemble your favorite old-timey dance partiers from up and down the West Coast (the Hard French kiddos, DJ Primo from the Knockout's aces Oldies Night, DJ Beyondadoubt from Portland's Hole in My Soul), pump them full of Pride-ful pleasure, and call it a really stupid amalgamation of their party names. Twist, and shake.
Radical Queer Vegan Anti-Social Modern Times Bookstore, 2919 24th St., SF. www.gayshamesf.org. 5:30pm, free. But what of the sober queer, or the queer that cares more for sustainable food systems than Absolut cocktail specials? This Pride-time edition of the monthly Gay Shame potluck-roundtable might be flush with fresh-faced, vegan out-of-towners, so start soaking those cashews now.
San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band Pride concert SF Conservatory of Music, 50 Oak, SF. www.sfcm.edu. 7pm and 9pm, $15–$30. Jack Curtis Dobowsky's "Harvey Milk: A Cantata" will be featured at this musical celebration with SF community choral groups. Come early — 6:15pm — to hear Dobowsky talk about the creation of his piece, which features unpublished texts by Milk himself.
Steam Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom, SF. www.powerhouse-sf.com. 10pm-2am, $5. As far as partying in a towel goes, this party is the ultimate. Down cheap tequila in one of SoMa's evolving sex clubs, cruise the man meat, get a buck-a-minute massage, and ditch the terrycloth for a spin in the famed Powershower.
The Super Queer Open Mic Show Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission, SF. www.sexandculture.org. 8pm, $12–$20. Eight years of queers grabbing the microphone are celebrated at this year's Pride edition of the reading series. Trans artist Amy Dentata and genderqueer humorist Dana Morrigan star as featured guests.
Trans March Dolores Park, Guerrero and 20th St., SF. www.transmarch.org. 3:30-6:30pm park gathering; 6:30pm march to UN Plaza, free. Could this be our favorite parade of Pride? It's hard to pick sides, but this all-ages gathering of the transgendered community makes a good case for itself. A First Peoples' welcoming and blessing with Ohlones and two-spirit folks is one highlight of this feel-good manifestation.