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QUEER ISSUE: Our annual guide to the (actually!) coolest Pride events

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Lady Tragik plays Courtney Trouble's Queerly Beloved alt-porn party on Sun/24.

Unofficial: the third annual Original Plumbing trans pride dance party Elbo Room, 647 Valencia, SF. www.elbo.com 10am-2pm; $7 before 11pm, $10 after. The all-around cutest transguy zine out there is throwing down the welcome mat for your post-march dancefest. Get snapped by photog Amos Mac and get it done on the dancefloor to DJ Rapidfire of Stay Gold and NYC's DJ Average Jo. Kelly Lovemonster go-gos!

We're Here, We're Queer, We're Some Thing The Stud, 399 Ninth St., SF. www.thestudsf.com. 10pm-late, $10. In honor of the swish season, SF's weekly alt-drag dance party fantasy is staying up late. Cast of characters includes Glamamore, Ambrosia Salad, and NYC's House of Stank. Host Vivvyanne Forevermore promises surprises, or rather "big, gay surprises."

SATURDAY 23

A Coupla Old Crackpot Crones The Garage, 715 Bryant, SF. www.crackpotcrones.com. 8pm, $15. One-time Green Party mayoral candidate and playwright Terry Baum and comedian Carolyn Myers pull together a variety show to benefit the Pat Bond memorial Old Dyke Award. Mom coming out, Baum's surprise 2011 election appearance, and Eleanor Roosevelt's lady love all figure in sketches.

Bondage A Go-Go Cat Club, 1190 Folsom, SF. www.sfcatclub.com. 9:30-2:30am, $10-20. Wear your pink and black to this lustful benefit for struggling, worker-owned stripclub The Lusty Lady. Dancers from the Lusty will host a spank-a-thon, and offer lap dances in exchange for contributions towards the future of our favorite sex-positive titty bar.

Country Pride Sundance Pre-Party Sundance Saloon, 550 Barneveld, SF. 8pm-midnight, $10. There's always quite a lineup of hot hoofers at this regular country line-dance hootenanny — but the pre-Pride bonanza will be full of new faces and spiffy boots and saddles.

Dark Room The Hot Spot, 1414 Market, SF. Dark electro, witchy goth, and cutting-edge spook-house darken the door of this Civic Center dive as the drag-and-laser-studded monthly freakfest raises money for Lyon-Martin Health Services. (100 percent of door proceeds will benefit reproductive health in SF!)

Dyke March Dolores Park, 20th St. and Guerrero, SF. www.thedykemarch.org. DJs noon-5pm, march at 6pm, free. Sit pretty in Dolo, swigging a homemade watermelon margarita made by your industrious neighbor at this centerpiece to ladylove Pride season. When you hear the revving of Dykes on Bikes, you'll know it's time to relocate to the parade route.

Go Bang! Go Pride! Deco Lounge, 510 Larkin, SF. www.decosf.com 9pm-3am, free before 10pm, $5 after. You better! The city's loveliest underground disco tribute gives the Studio 54 treatmeant (gritty Tenderloin version) to Pride, with DJs Redux, Marcus Jerard, Steve Fabus (happy birthday!) and Sergio.

Good Vibrations Pink Pleasure Party Good Vibrations, 603 Valencia, SF. www.goodvibes.com. 8pm, free. This is not the weekend for a poorly-stocked bedside drawer. Good Vibes pulls in DJs Becky Knox and Dalle for its yearly Dyke March hang-out. Snag you a strap-on from SF's most famous sex shop and get festivating.

It Gets Indie teen benefit concert Great American Music Hall, O'Farrell, SF. Facebook: it gets indie. 7:30pm, $25. Princeton and Local Hero top the bill at the show to benefit the "It Gets Better" campaign.

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