Caitlin,
You say "I've told my election night story a couple times over the last week since it stands out clearly as the moment I knew, for sure, I would never get involved in San Francisco politics."

Listen, I know how you feel. I had to put up with similar stuff too over the years, and it wasn't always comfortable. I think I might know who you are talking about, but then again, who knows. I've also felt uncomfortable in the "progressive" political scene when I sense a certain combativeness (with the opposition or even with fellow progressives). That right there, is not very "progressive" in my book. I always, personally, bemoaned the fact that politics here in SF (and no doubt elsewhere) seems to be lacking in a certain "spirituality" whereby people can just see others as human beings and treat them as such...not always the case, unfortunately.

But it was just through this discomfort that I did find my "niche" if you will, and for me, it is nonviolence in the tradition of MLK, or Gandhi (for me this *is* the intersection of spirituality and politics). What I've realized is that we live in a violent culture, and the progressive movement—though it may call itself "progressive"—is really but an emanation of that very foundational aspect of our culture, which, I have found, permeates *everything*—including so called "progressives" and even, some progressive women! I've seen it. It doesn't shock me anymore.

I do beg to differ with you on your assessment of that evening, however, when you say: "if you make those who are different from you feel like shit when you're two cocktails into election night..."
Nobody can "make you feel like shit". You are responsible for your feelings. A guy (and yes, women too) can act like a jerk, or say, be abrasive—whatever the case may be—but, I have found: welcome to the world.
I believe it is your responsibility to either go find some friendlier sorts, or basically hold your own and tell these folks the error of their ways...They are just people and don't know any better. Up to you to accept vagaries and deal with it by befriending them—or not—and then you might have a chance to change said bad behavior. But if you fall victim to aversion, where does that lead us? To a lonely place, I say.

So if it's sexism, drunkenness, meanness—it's all out there! I think it's good it's being discussed (so thank you for the article), but for me the bottom line will always be respect for all. I allow for people's foibles because we're all human just doing the best we can. Most bad behavior is just a reflection, I think, of what's wrong with our culture, or what has been wrong with our culture—and nothing more—including your response that "someone made you feel bad". That's weak (I've been guilty of it too, don't get me wrong) and it's *all* learned behavior.

Let's stay in the game and allow for feeling uncomfortable. If you can take it, you can mature within these circles and in the end, stand up for the values you want to see. But I stand for making friends with all these people who are in the headlines these days, and in your story, and helping each other out as best we can—without denouncing those individuals, or the "progressive movement" itself.

The other delight here is that a minority of liberal and progressive feminist women presume that all women are likewise liberal and feminist and want to live according to those values. It turns out, and this is true for LGBT, women, people of color and all "identities," that folks get to have their own politics that comport with their own values.

Feminism is a marginal position in society these days. Radical feminism is almost invisible. This means that most women don't adhere to the feminist view of what is right and wrong with male and female interactions. That is not saying that they want to be completely and totally abused. But suffice it to say that most won't pull the alarm bell if groped in a bar, they'd either slap, throw a drink in his face or let it go and move on.

What we're seeing in all of the radical formations is a rebellion against the people who will not consensually buy their interpretation of radical political practice for the given identity in the form of forcing them to accept the marginal interpretation or else.

So long as radicals are convinced of their impeccable correctness and blame others for not cleaving to the dogma, we're going to be seeing this kind of acting out , political correctness as a form of Munchhausen by Proxy.

Progressivism is successful only when it is male dominated, ie when the Black Panthers and the Yippies were not afraid to confront cops, confront the military-industrial complex, confront the Brown/Lee/Chamber of Commerce machine.

We stood up for Ross against some PC bourgeosie feminists trying to take him down for grapping his wife's elbow. Yes, that was wrong. And he apologized for it. Then a anti-DV group aligned with the Right Wing enacted a witch hunt.

In Julian's case, some of us are standing up for a good progressive politician who is now getting punched in the gut by the feminists.

Im still confused as to why Julian Davis is still even running. He should bow out and leave the politics to politicians and leave him to "play with his hippy friends". Julian Davis needs to rethink his intention of going into politics firstly and then the alliances he has on his side.

So let me get this straight- the reason more women aren't involved in the Progressive movement is because of all the boorish insensitive men in the Progressive movement? On the other hand women are doing just fine as center right Democrats and conservative Republicans because of the sensitive souls who dominate those political movements?

The logic there is deeply flawed. We have 2 female Senators, one of whom was mayor of SF and a female Congressperson. But they are non Progressive not because of their lame sellout politics, but because Progressive men are boorish? I suppose Meg Whitman would have worked for the Sierra Club if they would have listened to her more at the meetings?

Women are smart and they know what they believe in. If more women believed in Progressive politics they would have more power in Progressive politics, just like they do in manistream and conservative politics. This piece is a cover up for a bigger problem. Why are so many women willing to sell out the Progressive movement over petty identity politics?

Look for Ms. Vasilyeva to be washing Willie Brown's limo shortly.