SUPER EGO OK, first of all, there is now the first all-night whipped cream supply delivery service in the world right here in SF — the evocatively named Hippie Gap. "We do NOT condone ANY MISS use [sic] of our products!!!" says the About. "Whip-it! Original N2O" it then goes on, before linking to the Wikipedia entry for nitrous oxide. 10pm-10am, y'all. The best parts of rave may have been the stroboscopic aneurysms (and the bisexual Smart Drinks vendors): when the nitrous tank arrived the carnival truly began. But I'll really sit up if someone bikes a gasmask greased with Vick's VapoRub to my stoop. Screw your Backstreet Boys crap, that's when the '90s really will be back.
Also, right now there is a gang of kick-ass, stiletto-heeled Estonian girls in Miami getting vulnerable rich businessmen drunk at "Russian-style" bars and tricking them into buy extravagantly tacky things like Dom Perignon and boatloads of caviar. They are known as the B-Girls and they grifted one poor slob out of $48,000. They are kind of my girl-gang heroes? Well, right after Pussy Riot, Foxfire, Steel Magnolias, the Mi Vida Loca cholas, and the Sisterhood of the Transgender Pants.
MAYA JANE COLES
Young Brit phenom has been on an unstoppable tear the past few years, and while the hype has cooled somewhat, the skills have stayed white hot. Jazz-eared, soulful tech-house and killer bass augmentation swing wonderfully wide across a variety of moods, and always hit the spot. With local favorites Moniker and Brian Bejarano.
Thu/8, 9pm, $20. Monarch, 101 Sixth St., SF. www.monarchsf.com
Ethereal Philly street bass hero bangs the floor out with his futuristic swoops and sticky-starlight arpeggios — get a preview of new album Orbits, dropping in December, at new beats 'n bass party Sway. Soulful fellow bass-face Kastle, of San Francisco and awfully good looking, dubs it up to open.
Thu/8, 9pm, $10–$15. 330 Ritch, SF. starkeyandkastle.eventbrite.com
A sweet night of thoughtful techno that doesn't shy away from rippling drum and bass ecstasy from this grown-up veteran of the UK hardcore scene. Local smarties Ghosts on Tape, Bells and Whistles, and Mossmoss jumpstart the sophisticated, super-danceable aural vibes at the monthly As You Like It party.
Fri/9, 10pm-late, $10–$20. Beatbox, 314 11th St., SF. www.ayli-sf.com
A lineup to make cerebral bassheads' hearts go boom. Transcendent UK duo Mount Kimbie aren't afraid to take you off the rails and down a winding trail with their live sets. Gorgeous Floridian tech-dubber XXYYXX also appears, with SF electronic dreamer Giraffage ("Feels" is one of my fave 2012 tracks), D33J, Dials, and the Lights Down Low nutters.
Fri/9, 10pm-3am, $17–$20. 103 Harriet, SF. www.1015.com