Deep inside the Mission District brick fortress known as the Armory, over 35 robotic porn stars sit on shelves, waiting. They're the talent of the website Fucking Machines, started by the Bay Area's fine purveyors of pornographical pleasure, Kink.com.
John Henry has nothing on a fucking machine named Fuckzilla, a "Johnny 5" (from the movie Short Circuit) look-alike whose arms operate as high-power vibrators. While two women mount his appendages and scream for their lives, a webcam mounted in his face gives viewers an up-close view of the action.
The actresses who use them were not available for interview. But the filmmakers say they go gaga over it.
"The directors ask the girls 'why do you like machines more?' They always say it's because (the machines) don't get tired," Sam, a videographer at Kink.com told us.
The machines are powerful too. The Intruder MK II has a fucking speed up to 500 RPM and exerts a torque (twist strength) of 3 foot-pounds. "One of our highest counts was a woman who went through 58 orgasms in a four hour period," Kink.com videographer Aaron Farmer said.
I asked the pornographers if they lost any porn star employees since gaining the high-stamina bots. Turns out it was a noob question: most talent are freelancers and contractors in the industry, unless they run their own website.
So the machines aren't displacing any jobs there. But they did create some.
"I was hired for Fucking Machines," Aaron Farmer, the five-year videographer and sometimes director at Kink.com told us. They even have a machine shop in the armory, which while used for other purposes, also helps maintain the nearly 40 Fucking Machines on site, and even builds new ones.
Somewhere along the way, Kink.com outsmarted us all, riding the wave of tech disruption that one day may affect us all. Let's hope we're ready.