Arts and Entertainment
by andrea nemerson
DEAR READERS: I've got me the "walking pneumonia," can you believe it? You'd think after all those years spent bouncing my head around between the speakers at Ramones shows that I'd at least rate "rockin' pneumonia," but no. It isn't really "writing pneumonia," either, so you're gonna have to carry most of this one yourselves. I'll have more to say next week.
Here's a tip for the guy who hopes to spurt long and far: abstinence helps, but so does a little preparation. Shortly (anywhere up to an hour or two) before the true festivities start, prime the pump by masturbating without climaxing. This makes a large fountain more likely in a couple of ways. You can get the same result with extended foreplay, and sometimes even with just an active imagination.
Yes, you can end up with blue balls, which can be a good thing with the right circumstances and attitude or a painful thing if your partner loses interest.
However, speaking as a guy, Aiming's girlfriend's ejaculation fetish sounds like a bonus for him: she has an incentive to engage in extended sex play and to use all her skills to give him powerful orgasms. Cool!
Boy, do you ever have a good personality. I'm fairly sure you just put in the first good word for "blue balls" I've ever heard. Cool!
I have found that, to increase distance, bringing oneself almost (and I mean almost) to the point of orgasm three or four times before the final event will really make a good blast. (A sex buddy of mine likens this to winding a spring the more you "wind it" by delaying orgasm, the stronger the release.) A personal best was four feet.... Also, squeezing the penis slightly right at orgasm gives a bit more boost and feels really good as well.
You're going to get some argument from certain quarters about that squeezing thing (some people squeeze to delay orgasm), but I'm right with you on everything else.
Your classification of jealousy (dumb as rocks, I believe) around the fella's partner masturbating without him was, I think, a bit overstated. My girlfriend and I share masturbation techniques to make sex spicier, but also to show each other what we like, how we like to be touched. She caught me once masturbating alone and was very hurt. She knew damn well I wasn't thinking of her (but I wasn't thinking of the cable guy, either). And I understood her pain. I find jealousy to be a frustrating, primordial, and even dumb emotion but entirely human. So cut us all some slack; we've all felt the bite of that little green monster.
Oh, honey, I never said jealousy was dumb as rocks. I was talking about being so jealous of your sweetie's masturbation that you contemplate dumping her. That is, if anything, dumber than rocks. But jealousy itself? Hell no. It's only animal, just like us. I think "primordial" was an excellent word choice. It would be nice to evolve beyond it but not, I think, completely. People who claim to feel no jealousy at all give me just a faint case of the creeps.
If "watchman" wants this woman to stop masturbating after sex, he can take the time and effort to max her out sexually. If she doesn't roll over and fall asleep, then she probably still has some unspent sexual energy. Here are some fun games that I do with my lover when we really have time to totally satiate each other:
1. He makes me come 10 times before any penetration.
2. My cup runneth over ... drenching a full-size bath towel with ejaculate.
3. Play until a red flush appears. If there is no visible redness, then you're not really red hot.
4. Relax between bouts. Just like men, women need to relax after an orgasm before they can begin again.
Think about nos. 5, 6, and 7 on your own, or ... talk to her! Maybe she's never ever had enough sex to make her roll over and fall asleep. Would you like to be the first?
No. Nice suggestions, and all very appreciated, but now you're just showing off.
You can reach Andrea at alt.sex.column, Bay Guardian, 520 Hampshire St., S.F., CA 94110; email@example.com; or www.sfbg.com/asc.