School sucks
By Amanda Nowinski

LAST WEEK A drunken 21-year-old from Walnut Creek informed me that he was an "old-school" raver. As he fiddled with his pink dreds and rearranged his sagging pants, he shook his head in disgust and explained that "kids these days" don't know how to dance, that they can't appreciate a good tune when the DJ drops it, and that today's E is "total crap." You don't say. Impressed by his serious old-school status, I asked him what it was like to party on the Bulletproof Boat as an 11-year-old. He promptly informed me that he wasn't raving during that particular time.

Now that our OG 21-year-old can buy up for his underage brethren at the corner store, there's no reason why he can't experience the house party Bulletproof vibe for the very first time, since it happens every goddamn week at Revolver. Kevin Jenkins (DJ Kevin) brings the merrily crazed boat sensibility to Nickie's BBQ on Saturdays with residents Jayson, George (formerly of the, er, old-school Behind the Post Office), and Ron Ison. Using the eclectic Bulletproof formula of anything good under the sun, DJs play house, rare groove, hip-hop, 2-step, and whatever else feels right at the moment. Old-school 11-year-olds not admitted without acceptable fake ID.

Off the Hook, the city's most popular mixed hip-hop monthly, has expanded beyond its – oh, no, not again – old-school palette at its new Thursday-night weekly, the Hizzy. Lady Base and Derek B play all new hip-hop, electro, and soul and maintain the gay-straight-who cares environment that's made Off the Hook such an underground success. This weekend Lady Base hosts her second Cash 'n Carry, a sample sale that promotes local clothing and jewelry designers and visual artists. You are guaranteed to find one-of-a-kinds at decent prices, and you'll gain karmic points for supporting the city's inspired but underappreciated fashion scene. Music is provided by DJs El One, Miss Leema, and J-Boogie.

Revolver. Saturdays (Sat/16 with Chris Orr, Sat/23 with J-Boogie, March 30 with Cool Chris), 9 p.m.-2 a.m., Nickie's BBQ, 460 Haight, S.F. $7. (415) 621-6508, www.bulletproofsf.com. Tickets for the April 14 Bulletproof Boat go on sale March 23. For tickets go to the Bulletproof boutique, 629 Haight, S.F. (415) 255-7168.

The Hizzy. Thursdays, 10 p.m.-2 a.m., Hush Hush Lounge, 496 Guererro, S.F. $5. (415) 241-9944.

Off the Hook two-year anniversary. With DJs Toph One, Pause, Zeph, Lady Base, Derek B, and Pinky Ring. Sat/23, 9 p.m.-3 a.m., Border Cantina, 1192 Folsom, S.F. $5-$10. (415) 626-0414.

Cash 'n Carry. Sat/16, 3-9 p.m., 185 Clara, S.F. No contact number available.

Send comments or tips to amanda@sfbg.com.