'The Most Fertile Man in Ireland'

Sperm tale

GANGLY, GINGER -haired, pasty-faced Eamon (Kris Marshall) is still a virgin at age 24, and living at home in Belfast with his once-swinging ma (Olivia Nash) probably doesn't help matters. She conceived him in a quickie dalliance with a Tom Jones-like lounge crooner who abandoned them long ago. Such shagging, let alone an actual relationship, seems well beyond the hapless hero's grasp, until he inexplicably catches the eye of local bombshell Mary Mallory (Tara Lynne O'Neill), who notes, "I've snogged some real toads in my time," yet gleans a potential Dirk Diggler in bumbling Eamon. The acrobatic "first time" eventually leads to a rather startling discovery: our hero's sperm count is so far off the charts that a TV trash-talk celebrity doctor (former punk-pop starlet Toyah Willcox) attests, "He could impregnate a stone." The news spreads fast among Belfast's more insemination-desperate females, fanned by Eamon's coworker Millicent (Bronagh Gallagher), who pushes him to seize this opportunity on a door-to-door stud-service basis. B'gosh, what's a hand-wringing, mother-said-we-mustn't geek to do? Not tell the girl he really wants, goth-looking mortuary owner Rosie (Kathy Keira Clarke), for starters. Needless to say, much embarrassment, duplicity, and naughty humor result. Like its hero, The Most Fertile Man in Ireland has more spunk than it knows what to do with: hyperactive in sight (notably via garish John Waters-worthy couture and decor) and sound (a soundtrack laden with Emerald Isle classic popsters like the Undertones), it's so frenetic that after a while giddy fun turns to exhaustive excess. Actor-turned-feature helmer Dudi Appleton also errs in letting the story turn inappropriately angstful at the three-quarter mark, then bounce back with too many gratuitous punch line epilogues. Still, this somewhat overamped comedy is a giddy delight for long enough that you can forgive its later trespasses. (Dennis Harvey)