DEAR ANDREA: I recently found out my girlfriend has an infection called HPV. I was told it's a little-known STD and condoms usually will not stop infection. After reading up, I found that men can have it and not even know. I also read that it may or may not be curable. Can I still make love to her? And if I do, how to protect my future partner if for some reason we were to break up and I were to start seeing other women? More important, will she be able to have any kind of sexual relationship without infecting others?

We have a doctor's appointment already. I would just like to get your take on this, if you have ever heard of it.

Love, Concerned

Dear Concerned:

I am trying (and failing) to imagine a life in which I have not heard of HPV. Nope. It would be nice, but nope – HPV simply isn't "little-known" by any stretch. Perhaps if the doctor had said "genital warts" instead of an "obscure" acronym, it would have rung a bell. HPV stands for human papillomavirus. A papilloma is a wart, any wart, and all warts are caused by some type of HPV, of which there are at least a hundred. Most of these have nothing to do with sex. Many appear to do nothing at all; others cause the unsightly but apparently harmless lumps that doctors cut or burn off and witches wish away by burying toads at the crossroads under the full moon. The important thing to get here is that HPV is the most common STD around, with some reliable sources (including the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) estimating that 80 percent of the U.S. population has been exposed. Wow, huh? Much of the time the virus is quickly vanquished by the infectee's immune system, and nobody's the wiser. Of the people who really do get infected, most have no symptoms, or no visible symptoms, but they can easily pass it on to a partner.

Yes, men can have HPV and not know it. So can women. The nasty twist is that men, who may carry HPV their whole lives without ill effect, may innocently pass it on to women. Some of those women will develop cervical cancer. Some of those who do will die. This, not some ugly (but treatable) lumpy things, is why HPV is a big deal. Oh, and there's another twist: the strains that can cause cancer are not the same ones that cause visible warts. So actually seeing warts tells you precisely nothing about whether you or your partner might also be harboring one of the killer strains. The only way for a woman to know is to be regularly examined by a doctor. As for men, well – until there's a useful blood test, there's no way to tell at all. And I did tell you there's no cure, right? Oh, I didn't? Well, there isn't. All those treatments you've been reading about are merely topical, removing the ugly lumps while doing nothing at all about the virus.

I wouldn't say that condoms won't protect you. What nobody knows for sure is just how well condoms work for anything other than contraception or HIV prevention. A review conducted by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services concluded that there simply isn't enough information to form an opinion and recommended further study. They did not, however, conclude that condoms can't prevent other STDs. There's an additional problem with skin-to-skin infections like HPV and herpes, in that the warts or sores could be well outside the area protected by the condom. But if you're talking about an infection on the penis or inside the vagina or rectum, chances are good that the condom will protect you.

So now that you're thoroughly freaked out, what to do? Well, remember that HPV is everywhere, and any potential partner who might wrinkle her nose and go "Ew, gross!" at the mention of it is likely carrying it herself. You and your girlfriend may carry on, although I definitely suggest you wear condoms. It couldn't hurt. And should you and your current squeeze for some reason stop squeezing, she can go ahead and do the same with someone else. Not that you really want to think about that, of course.

Love, Andrea

You can reach Andrea at alt.sex.column, Bay Guardian, 520 Hampshire St., S.F., CA 94110 or andrea@altsexcolumn.com