June 26, 2002
Arts and Entertainment
DEAR ANDREA: About your answer on surgery for the lingual frenobulous (?): I just ran into this subject while doing some searching on nursing and said to myself, "So that's what it's called, and that's why I can't stick out my tongue very far!"
There's a whole population of us who fed as infants, did not get speech problems, but were deprived of full French-kissing ability and other intimate activities. Perhaps there needs to be more medical awareness of this!
Happy to do what I can for the cause. Oh, and should your inability to French kiss or make sufficiently yucky faces at your kids ("Do you like see-food?") get you down, you could always get snipped yourself. Don't forget to tell us how it went.
P.S. It's "frenulum" or "frenum." I must admit to a certain fondness for "frenobulous," though. May I borrow it?
My boyfriend wants me to deep-throat when giving him a blow job, and while I wish to keep him happy, I'm not sure how to go about it without gagging, and I'm also wondering if there are any risks involved.
I was just reading Jan and Michael Stern's book about swanky company food from the '50s and '60s and giggling at all the quiche lorraine and beef Wellington. Not only is this stuff now adorably quaint, but it was also somewhat overrated in the first place. Fashions change. So too with deep-throating, which now seems as '70s as rumaki are '60s.
Here's the thing. You may be able, very gradually, to suppress your gag reflex by practicing with a tongue depressor (or the late-'60s, Sensuous Woman version, a banana). This may or may not prove worth it in the end. Try it and see (it's perfectly safe). Alternatively, tell him to close his eyes, fill your palm with warm (preferably silicone) lube, take as much of him in your mouth as you comfortably can, and engulf the rest of his shaft in your hands. Proceed as usual. I have heard some men claim they can tell the difference, some not, but I have never heard of one saying "Never do that again!"
I'm a woman back on the dating scene after a 10-year marriage. After our second time, I walked past the bathroom to find my new male partner urinating with the door open ... sitting down! I laughed it off, stating that I was surprised to see our relationship moving so quickly to the next level. But to tell the truth, I was taken aback. Maybe I'm out of touch and should try not to be a prude, but I have no qualms about asking him to close the door.
That aside, I was curious. I always thought men peed standing up. I have to admit, sitting down is a nice idea ... less splatter and mess. But at first I thought it was a little weird. Again, am I out of touch? Is this a cultural thing, or perhaps the result of an upbringing in an all-female household? How common is it for men to pee while sitting?
My ex and I once moved in with a roommate who proceeded to upbraid me for insufficiently housebreaking my boyfriend. She let me know that her former partner had never splashed over, because (she told me proudly) he sat down. I must admit my first reaction was "That poor bastard," but in the course of telling this story over the years, I've heard a number of men admit to sitting down. Usually in the wee hours, in the dark, while drunk, but still. I think it's one of those many behaviors that are rarely mentioned but often practiced. For some reason I neither understand nor wish to examine, I still prefer that any man of mine stand up like a, well, man, but this may demonstrate some failure of imagination on my part.
You can reach Andrea at alt.sex.column, Bay Guardian, 520 Hampshire St., S.F., CA 94110, or firstname.lastname@example.org.