DEAR ANDREA: Some Chinese women at work have asked me this (I guess because I'm Jewish). They say their (Chinese) husbands and boyfriends come too fast. They think they're too sensitive 'cause they're not circumcised. Some of them are even thinking about getting their preschool-age sons circumcised for this reason. I don't know the answer. I don't want any little boys cut on a wrong presumption.

Love, Nice Jewish Girl

Dear Girl: Wow. How weird. Do you have any idea whether the complainers have actually had sex with anyone but their current partners, or with any non-Asian men? How do they know their guys are coming any more quickly than anyone else's guys? After all, complaining about quick-as-a-bunny men is hardly culture-specific. Women have done it pretty much always, pretty much everywhere. Nothing new about it, and nothing particularly Asian about it either.

Anyway, how fast is too fast? Do the ladies have a sense of the actual norm, or are they merely harboring a vague feeling of dissatisfaction? You can't imagine how many men complain that they can only last five minutes (or six minutes, or ten minutes, or half an hour ...), without having the slightest idea that they're actually normal or a bit ahead of the curve. Most men can't last more than about four minutes going all-out, unless they've picked up some technique and practiced. I don't know if these guys are bunnies or dogs (dogs can go for hours sometimes, but, well, they're dogs), and it's possible that these women don't either. The next time they bring it up, pass this on. Not the part about the dogs, though. That is neither useful nor in good taste.

It's kind of terrifying that the fate of the kids has been placed in your hands, but aren't you glad you wrote in? Now I have a chance to say, "No! There will be no cutting perfectly good parts off of innocent children just because their mothers are not having enough fun in bed!" You may recommend Bernie Zilbergeld's The New Male Sexuality or one of those instructional videos. You can suggest that they encourage their partners to masturbate first or use condoms. You can tell them that most men can learn to last longer, and that partners can help, and that learning more about real-life sexuality wouldn't hurt them any either. Educate away. But while you're at it, you must tell them, "Hey, ladies, leave those kids alone." Deal?

Love, Andrea

Dear Andrea: I recently lost my virginity. It was nothing like I thought it would be. We had both been drinking, and before the main event took place, we did a lot of foreplay. I mean hours – we were both more than ready to go.

My partner was more experienced than me, and she seemed much more into it. When the intercourse began, I did what seemed natural, but it wasn't that pleasurable. Before we were rudely interrupted, we'd been having sex for more than 30 minutes. She was on the verge of orgasm and kept asking if I was close. I lied and said I was, hoping I would be soon, but nothing seemed to get me any closer. She commented later that for an 18-year-old, especially a virgin, I was a stud. Of course, that's not how I felt. How did this happen? Why don't I enjoy sex? I'm comfortable, and I masturbate, but when it comes to a partner, it doesn't cut it. Can I get over this and enjoy sex like it should be enjoyed?

Love, Stumped Stud

Dear Stud: Don't say you don't enjoy sex; just say you didn't enjoy that experience. Believe me, there's plenty more to come.

You could have been nervous, distracted, or feeling a little disassociated. Most likely, you're just used to the sensation of masturbation and need a little more stimulation than you're getting from intercourse. You may need to experiment more, ask her to squeeze down, change positions, or give yourself a hand here and there (did you know that was possible?).

Nobody ever talks about the last possibility, but it does happen: you may not be the world's biggest intercourse fan. Some people just prefer other stuff. It wouldn't mean you couldn't have intercourse, just that you might prefer another route to orgasm afterward. Shocking, I know, but not everyone likes the same thing everybody else likes.

Love, Andrea