December 18, 2002

LIKE AN OVERCAFFEINATED postadolescent who grew up on Richard Simmons infomercials and early Beastie Boys vinyl, Da Hawnay Troof turned the Bottom of the Hill into a pro-aerobics rap workout early last week.

The Oakland-based 20-year-old – a.k.a. Chris Touchton, also of K.I.T. and the now defunct xbxrx – had no intention of sweatin' to the oldies, however, despite taking the stage in a get-skintight wrestling outfit and retro orange headband. His mission was to remain strictly in the moment, if not entirely ahead of it: after coolly setting up a laptop, Da Troof introduced himself and then immediately ricocheted around the room as he raced through "All I Want Is Yo Dik," one of the many self-explanatory titles of his boy-on-boy anthems.

Following the half hour-plus set by snoozebar band Plan B that began the night, it was exactly the sorta high-energy Ritalin rush that the hundred or so folks in the all-ages audience needed. The crowd ate up Da Troof's cartoonish caricature of an oversexed, rapping aerobics instructor, and like every good motivator, he was more than happy to offer up some Simmons-style pep talks in return. "San Francisco, do you know I love you?!" he asked, moments after returning to the stage following the minute-long whirlwind of an opener. "Do you love Da Hawnay Troof?! Remember, you're just as important as I am, so feel free to move, to scream, and to get closer to the stage."

The audience didn't take him up on that last offer, choosing to keep a safe distance from Da Troof's spastic stage antics. Still, the crowd showed more signs of life than they did all night, and any confusion – and there were many befuddled faces – caused by Da Troof's microphone-humping and P.E. superhero-style attire was simply the result of there being little time to make sense of what was happening. Two more 60-second roof-raisers later – one which excellently sampled the Gossip and his East Bay soul sibs in Gravy Train!!!! – and the show was over as quickly as it had begun.

"That's all I have," he said after a whole five minutes onstage, packing up his laptop even before the wildly enthusiastic applause dissipated.

Following a recent, nearly sold-out tour with Stereo Total (who make vocal cameos on his upcoming album), Da Troof's homecoming gig gloriously packed more punch into a sliver of an hour than most acts do in an entire evening. Still, the whole Short Attention Span Theater shtick to which so many Bay Area bands cling can get tiresome. Sure a five-minute set is preferable to the sorta jam band mentality that can turn concerts into sleep-inducing dirges (ahem, Plan B). But too-short sets can – as when bands hide behind ironic poses – feel like easy ways out of taking risks and making real connections.