January 7, 2003

MUD PITS, vandalized port-a-potties, firecrackers, funny hats, and a slew of unrepentant metal manics – and for once that wasn't the scene at an Oakland Raiders home game. This time, on New Year's Eve, the shenanigans were in full swing on the other side of the bay and elsewhere. Members of Granfaloon Bus and the Crooked Jades checked out the mind-blowing sounds of Chhom Nimol with Dengue Fever at the Make-Out Room, as Chris von Sneidern sat in on sound. On a sad note, two men died after jumping aboard Coolworld's USS Mothership at the 11th annual Planet New Year at the Cow Palace. Meanwhile, booked for passage on a "Crazy Train," Bud E. Luv got a taste of reality, Ozzy-style, when he and his band performed at the Osbournes' NYE bash in L.A.

"MTV was all over the place, relishing every bit of mismanagement," e-mails keyboardist Mikey Luv, describing the Hefnerian scenario at a Gothic cathedral-style ballroom with multiple striptease acts, copious food, gaming tables, and a central photo op that revolved around ridiculously oversize sex toys. As the Bud E. Luv Orchestra played big-band arrangements of Ozz tunes like "Iron Man," TV's favorite dad of darkness briefly hoofed with Bud E. "There was supposed to be a birthday cake presentation and a 'knighting' of Sharon by the 'Queen of England,' with live brass fanfares," writes Mikey. "But because of technical problems (where is the F*CKING wireless lavaliere mic for the F*CKING Queen!), and timing problems (Ozzy and Sharon decided to watch the stripper while waiting), then physical problems (Ozzy needed a little rest, went to sit down, fell, and hurt his knee), the whole presentation thing went south and was scrubbed."

That was probably around the same time I was unsteadily teetering across the soggy cardboard that bridged a moat of sludge and rainwater outside the Coachwhips' house party on South Van Ness Avenue. One girl was smashing a Polaroid against the wall as her friends cheered her on. Other revelers threw firecrackers into the crowd in the swampy courtyard. Down in the basement, A Tension and Lil' Pocketknife performed as the power threatened to sputter out. After the electricity came back on, Human League songs and "98 Tears" were spun. Pipes rattled, rafters shook, and plaster fell, and the Coachwhips sent the audience bouncing into one another like overheated, sweat- and beer-drenched, fully dilated molecules, until the circuit breakers broke and the lights went dead again.

Later, after I wandered off, Pink and Brown cuddled up once more and played a reunion set. Coachwhips and P&B poster boy John Dwyer said it was kismet: former P&B partner and present Young People member Jeff Rosenberg was up from L.A. to record an EP. Even though Pink was starting to clash with Brown, the pair decided to make amends just for the sake of entertaining us on "amateur night." Convivial, noisy, bratty vibes – and at last count, no one seems to have died.

But some will be glad to

Speaking of pink, what about those fleshy oral favors getting passed around the floor of the Bottom of the Hill Dec. 14 at the Tigerbeat6 showcase? During Zeigenbock Kopf's performance, at least one person was getting into the spirit of Christmas extra early, learning that it is better to give than receive – when it comes to fellatio. I was there, you were there, but who saw what was so widely discussed later: the supposed make-out scene between the thinly veiled Z.K. vocalist "Hans Bunschlaper" and a certain raunchy boy decked out in super-short shorts and tube socks? The alleged climax involved Bunschlaper getting a "head" on the dance floor, big time. And you were wondering where all the sex in rock went? It's fun to believe that it isn't restricted to Mick Jagger's imagined Viagra reserve.

Bunschlaper doesn't deny that it happened, but for obvious reasons he's decided it's better to let it all just fade into legend. The local trio isn't doing any more interviews, he said, and is instead allowing the rumor mill to simply grind on and do its work for them. Anyway, as he admitted on the phone last week, "It was a pretty silly night, overall. People were getting down pretty hard.

"Basically Zeigenbock Kopf had become an unexpectedly heated political debate. It mutated into a catalyst for conversation," he added before running off to eat something. "I don't think a lot of people saw very much. One good thing is that someone had a night-vision camera that got a lot of people on tape that didn't expect to be filmed. That was the one thing that made me pretty happy today."

Boom!

Rev. Boom King, vocalist for the Idiots and sound person at Kimo's, was just busting out all over with good news two weeks ago. Kimo's passed its latest noise test with flying colors, he said, clocking in at less than the city limit of 68 decibels outside the venue. Five police officers, Kimo's manager Tyler Sauer, and the most vocal grousing neighbor were present, and Latino ska band La Plabe did the honors of generating the so-called noise. OK, I can already hear the dissenters: sure, ska can get loud, but what about eXtreme Elvis? What about Total Shutdown? What about Beelzebub's loudest, most grating jackhammers?

King believes $4,000 of soundproofing, treating the ceiling, stage floor, western wall, and ventilator, will be taking care of EE's business. The work began in early December after the club closed its doors to loud music in October. Now King, who did the sound when Matt Shapiro booked the club, says he and two other bookers plan to get back on schedule with noisier bands, as well as a benefit for the Tenderloin's Tom Waddell Health Center. "If there are further citations, I'm willing to go to jail if I have to," said King, who worked at Club Galia, Covered Wagon Saloon, and most recently Talk of the Town, before it shut up for good.

Oh, great, now I gotta get my KISS costume back from the cleaners.