January 15, 2003

LET'S DO IT . Let's go to Chinatown. Right now. There are cheap videos to sample, dead movie theaters to exhume, worthless pop idols to worship, and a million wacky things to see and do. It's best to get there by walking up Kearny from Market. Forget about waiting for the 30 Stockton (a.k.a. the "30 Suck-on") – taking Kearny is even faster than going via Grant, and the path leads to the door of several supersecret anime bootleg emporiums. But for now the giant robots and questionable haircuts will have to wait. Time to waltz across scenic and historic Portsmouth Square. Resist the temptation to stop for a game of mahjong or cards with the locals. A fairly major new trash film from Hong Kong schlockmeister Wong Jing (The Wesley's Mysterious File) has just hit town, and a highly recommended place to purchase it is Gift Entertainment at 724 Jackson St. Other Chinatown video stores can boast of having a bigger selection, but few can beat Gift Entertainment's prices. And if you are going to be buying a VCD or a DVD of Jing's new female assassin sexploitation extravaganza, Naked Weapon (a title meant to invoke his 1992 classic, Naked Killer), you'll want those sweet, cheap thrills on the cheap. A clean, well-lit store with a friendly staff goes a long way around these parts, and store owners Johnny and Stella Yu do not disappoint. A large-screen TV in the back sets the tone, invariably blaring either Shaolin Soccer or whatever Hollywood blockbuster that's just made its preemptive Region Three debut (Spider-Man and XXX hit here months before making their American video bows). Another hallmark of Gift Entertainment is its bargain bins, which are full of rare Japanese ninja films, '80s-era Hong Kong obscurities, and eye-popping porno. Hey, here's that classic Chow Yun-Fat flick Tiger on Beat, and it can be had for the price of a couple of margaritas in the Mission District. The rest of this city may be hurting, but it should now be clear another one of Chinatown's golden ages is upon us. For now, enjoy the delirium of just being here. (A proper look at Naked Weapon and its discontents next week. Promise.)