February 26 2003
It's funny in Kansas
Arts and Entertainment
DEAR READERS: Did anyone else get stuck on the wrong coast during the Great Storm of Ought Three, or whatever they're calling it? Did anyone have trouble getting their work done because of it? Me too. Here are some quickies.
Dear Andrea: My husband's come is really sticky. Is there anything he can take so it becomes less sticky? Thank you.
Love, Ew, Sticky!
Dear Ew: You're welcome. Tell him to drink more water and less caffeine. Not bad advice in general, come to think of it.
Dear Andrea: Do women ever just lubricate for no apparent reason? I always associated lubrication with sexual stimulation of some sort. Sight or feel. Reason being is I picked up my girlfriend's panties one day after work. They were pretty lubricated and dried up a bit. She said this is normal and happens from time to time. Is this the case?
Love, Puzzled over Panties
Dear Panties: Yes. Much more so when she's ovulating, but a little all of the time. Did you think she was lying to you?
Dear Andrea: I am a 39-year-old male, and all my life I have been able to have an unlimited number of orgasms. After I climax with a partner, I usually jack myself off a couple of times, or until my partner gets bored with me having orgasms every couple of minutes. I can have an unlimited amount of orgasms through masturbation with just a couple of minutes' rest in between. Mind you, I'm not complaining, but I'm curious: how unusual is this?
Love, Come Again?
Dear Again: Am I just a mean, terrible person, or am I correct in assuming you already know exactly how unusual (and lucky) you are and are just bragging?
Oh. I really am awful, aren't I? OK, it's unusual. So unusual that it barely merits a name of its own the phrase "male multiple orgasm" exists only as a corollary to the real thing, plain old multiple orgasm, which is assumed to be a girl thing unless otherwise specified. There are books purporting to teach men how to do it and men purporting to have learned, but it don't come easy.
Dear Andrea: When I get an erection, it is so hard that I cannot bend it. Is it supposed to be like that, or am I suppose to be able to move it in any direction? When I see adult videos, the men can move it anywhere and bend it.
Love, Hard Case
Dear Case: Right. Didn't you know that the purpose of porn stars, especially male porn stars, is to foster a sense of inadequacy in their viewers? If you had a hard time getting hard, you'd be writing me about how much stiffer the competition is. It's always something.
Dear Andrea: What is the proper way to lick a girl's vagina?
Dear 'Lex: It doesn't really matter, as relatively few girls would even want you to. What you want to do is lick her vulva, for which there are instructions all over the Web.
E-mail Andrea Nemerson at email@example.com.