stage

Stage listings are compiled by Cheryl Eddy. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, Lara Shalson, and Chloe Veltman. See 8 Days a Week for information on how to submit items to the listings.

theater

Opening

'The Best of PlayGround: Seventh Annual Emerging Playwrights Festival' A Traveling Jewish Theatre, 470 Florida; 987-2787, www.playground-sf.org. $12.50-35 (Thurs, pay what you can). Opens Thurs/12, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through June 29. See 8 Days a Week.

The Hollywood Chronicles: Stories, Songs, and Gossip Exit Theatre, 156 Eddy; 296-0412. $15. Opens Thurs/12, 8:30pm. Runs Fri-Sat, 8:30pm. Through June 28. Stephen Clay performs his solo musical.

The Lonesome West Magic Theatre (Northside), Bldg D, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna; 441-8822. $17-37 (opening night, $50; benefit performance June 24, $55). Previews Fri/13-Sat/14 and June 18-19, 8pm. Opens June 20, 8pm. Runs Wed-Sat and June 24, 8pm (no show July 4); Sun, 2:30pm (also June 19 and July 6, 7:30pm). Through July 6. The Magic Theatre performs Martin McDonagh's third play in his Leenane trilogy (The Beauty Queen of Leenane, The Skull of Connemara), a "deadly comedy" about a pair of brothers who guard a dark secret.

Bay Area

The Wyrd Sisters Berkeley City Club, 2315 Durant, Berk; (510) 558-1381. $8-20 (June 19, 26, and July 31, pay what you can; previews free). Previews Thurs/12, 8pm. Opens Fri/13, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm (no show July 4); Sun, 5pm. Through July 13. (free preview July 24, runs July 25-Aug 10: Thick House, 1695 18th St, S.F. Phone, price, and schedule same.) Central Works performs a new play by Gary Graves that draws on familiar Shakespearean characters.

Ongoing

*American Buffalo Omnicircus Theatre, 550 Natoma; 701-0686. $10-15. Fri/13-Sat/14, 8pm; Sun/15, 7pm. Subterranean Shakespeare reprises its 1999 production of David Mamet's visceral autopsy of the American dream. Three small-time operators plan a coin heist in a Chicago junk shop, with tragicomic results for themselves and the free enterprise system. The real action courses through Mamet's meaty and muscular dialogue, brimming with his signature flair for the poetry of the back alley. The highly intimate, hole-in-the-wall atmosphere of Omnicircus feels like the ideal setting. Director Stanley Spenger draws a solid bead on the play, delivering a taut, focused performance as Teach, while Dick Hillenbrand manages a terrific debut as Bobby, and Geoffrey Pond pules, prattles, and growls as junk shop owner Donny Dubrow. A benefit for SubShakes' new Berkeley digs, this unique production ends up being one of San Francisco's cooler "underground" theater offerings. (Avila)

Apocalypse: The Book of Revelation The Marsh, 1062 Valencia; 826-5750. $12-17 (Thurs, pay what you can). Thurs-Sat, 8pm (no show June 27). Through June 28. Performer Eliot Fintushel uses masks and ancient songs to illuminate his word-for-word rendition of the final book of the Bible.

Are We Almost There? Shelton Theatre, 533 Sutter; 345-7575. $17-22. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Open-ended. Travel is the theme of this musical comedy revue.

*Black and Blue: A Musical Revue Lorraine Hansberry Theatre, 620 Sutter; 474-8800. $15-32. Extended run: Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through June 29. A modified version of the Black and Blue that opened on Broadway in 1989, this rousing musical revue presents 18 blues and jazz numbers, mostly from the '20s and '30s, but ranging from W.C. Handy's 1914 "St. Louis Blues" to Bob Dylan's 1979 "Gotta Serve Somebody." A competent four-piece band, six dynamic dancers, and a trio of male backup singers – who shine in a barbershop version of "I'm Confessing (That I Love You)" – help bring the music to life. But it's the three lead women vocalists – with Bay Area favorite Faye Carol headlining – who are this musical revue's raison d'être: Clara McDaniel shimmers with a silky, jazz-time "Am I Blue." Ella Jamerson-Haynes raises the roof with an inspired gospel rendition of "Serve Somebody." And Carol shows off her versatility with a coy "If I Can't Sell It, I'll Keep Sittin' on It," a righteous "T'ain't Nobody's Bizness If I Do" (with Jamerson-Haynes), and a heart-wrenching "Body and Soul." Even the most reserved theatergoers will find themselves dancing in their seats. (Shalson)

Cocksucker: A Love Story Theatre Rhinoceros, 2926 16th St; 861-5079. $20-30. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3 and 7pm. Open-ended. Writer-director Ronnie Larsen presents a tale about marines who act in gay porn videos.

*'Comedy on the Square' Shelton Theatre, 533 Sutter; 522-8900. $15. Performances include "A Celebration of Silliness!" with Fred Anderson (Sun, 3 and 7pm; through July 31); Kasper Hauser comedy troupe (Fri/13-Sat/14, 10pm; Sun/15, 8:30pm). Fred Anderson and Comedy on the Square present San Francisco-based troupe Kasper Hauser (a.k.a. Dan Klein, Rob Baedeker, and John and James Reichmuth) in a new show premised on a nuptial dystopia. Don and Donita, a patently horrible couple, look to renew their wedding vows and thereby erase all of the terrible mistakes of 12 years, back to and including the original ceremony. Their audacious if banal plan provides an excuse for ferociously weird tangents of a kind Kasper Hauser fans have come to expect – as well as the welcome reprise of some favorite sketches – before a PCP-besotted self-esteem guru presides over the shaky consummation. Always preposterous yet versatile and precise, the troupe can evoke states ranging from crippling self-consciousness to an almost criminal lack of shame, judging by the man seated next to me. Even the weaker material intrigues, while some moments are just hands-down glorious. Much like sourdough bread, Kasper Hauser will travel far beyond the confines of San Francisco via the appealing incongruity of its mad vision. (Avila)

*Cooking with Elvis Phoenix Theatre, 414 Mason; 989-0023. $20 (Thurs, pay what you can). Thurs/12-Sat/14, 8pm. Phoenix Arts Association's Cooking with Elvis (by Lee Hall, writer of Billy Elliot) is a comic pie of surprising contents. When an accident renders Elvis impersonator Dad (Lol Levy) an epileptic "cabbage," 14-year-old Gillian (played by the protean Lauren Grace) copes by retreating into a world of increasingly disturbing gastronomy. Stoutly refusing the chances for easy bathos, director Robert Hamm makes the play swing instantly from hilarity to hopelessness, from scenes of weeping to scenes of wanking, while the actors bounce to the next extreme indomitable and ready. (Amir Baghdachi)

*Cowboy Mouth Theatre Rhinoceros, 2926 16th St; 861-5079. $10-15. Thurs-Sat, 8:30pm; Sun, 3:30pm. Through June 22. For a short time in 1971, playwright Sam Shepard and his lover, rocker Patti Smith, holed up in New York's Chelsea Hotel and wrote a play together. The product was Cowboy Mouth, an unhinged, somewhat autobiographical tale of two wandering souls stumbling about in a make-believe landscape where calling up room service on a broken telephone is about as close as one comes to reality and music is the only true means of escape. Mostly Grounded Theater Company's enthralling production not only luridly recalls a time when Mick Jagger was revered as a god but also makes us wonder, in an absence of such a "saint with a cowboy mouth," where today's myths lie. From the rough aesthetic to the perfectly paced performances by John Pirruccello, Amanda Korpitz, and Mark Routhier (who, doubling as the show's director, makes music out of its most discordant moments), Cowboy Mouth is both baffling and beautiful. (Veltman)

Devil in the Deck Climate Theatre, 285 Ninth St; 364-1411. $15-25. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through June 28. Paul Nathan stars in his one-person show about a con artist named Jack Swindle who travels the world performing magic and cheating at cards. Combining card tricks with stories, Nathan weaves the tale of a life that begins with an inauspicious tarot reading, an experience that instills in its protagonist an obsession with cards and the determination to cheat them (and life) at every turn. The fusion of mysticism, magic, and straight-up duplicity is pleasing, and when Nathan shows us exactly how his mesmerizing tricks are done, we are reminded that just because it's artful deception, doesn't mean it's not magic. However, Nathan's storytelling is less beguiling than his card manipulations and Swindle's character remains as two-dimensional as the Jack of Spades that slips between his fingers, while his studied smarminess turns the women who fill his stories into little more than paper dolls. (Shalson)

Howard Crabtree's When Pigs Fly New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972. $18-38. Extended run: Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm (no show June 29). Through July 13. The last theatrical extravaganza created by costume designer extraordinaire Howard Crabtree and his longtime collaborator, lyricist Mark Waldrop, before Crabtree's death in 1996, this zany musical revue depicts Crabtree's dream autobiography. The familiar setup opens on a series of campy sketches, borrowing from a range of musical genres, about finding joy in the face of adversity. The rainbow-colored sensibility feels dated at times, but Waldrop's new pieces written for this production – torch songs for the likes of Dick Cheney and Pat Robertson, performed with eye-fluttering sincerity by Jeff Manabat – are clever and timely. (Shalson)

Let's Pretend I'm Not Your Mother Climate Theatre, 285 Ninth St; 364-1411. $20. Thurs-Sat, 9:30pm. Through June 21. Titillation Theatre helps inaugurate Climate Theatre's new venue with writer-director Jennifer Hotcher's cabaret: a smorgasbord of sex in the city that kicks off with a course on how to undress for your lover, conducted by a professional stripper (Hotcher), and pulsates right through 10 more sexy, frequently funny vignettes. The show has been bouncing around a number of small venues for the last year (between police raids), and the momentum has paid off. The sketches may be uneven in conception, but the cast is aces and consistently pleases. (Avila)

Love Missile New Langton Arts, 1246 Folsom; (510) 986-9194. $18. Opens Thurs/12, 8:30pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8:30pm; Sun, 7:30pm. Through June 22. Golden Thread Productions performs an original antiwar musical.

The Male Intellect: An Oxymoron? Marines Memorial Theatre, 609 Sutter; 1-877-771-6900. $25-45. Tues-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 5pm); Sun, 3 and 6pm. Through June 29. Robert Dubac performs his solo comedy about a guy who seeks the help of his five misguided alter egos after he's dumped by his fiancée.

Married to Music New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972. $15-25. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through June 22. The New Conservatory Theatre Center presents Meg Mackay and Billy Philadelphia in a cabaret revue inspired by their 11-year marriage.

Mysterious Skin New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972. $18-38. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through June 28. Prince Gomolvilas's Mysterious Skin opens as a UFO expert, against a dark, celestial backdrop, asks his television audience, "Have aliens contacted you?" It's a funny, uncomfortable moment – trouble hangs in the air, and it has nothing to do with the heavens. Skin, adapted from Scott Heim's 1995 novel and receiving its world premiere at the New Conservatory Theatre Center, traces the trajectories of two young men from semirural Kansas who shared a childhood experience that shaped them in a way each is unable to control. Good chemistry and solid acting from a committed cast, under Arturo Catricala's ever sharp and sportive direction, convey the full range of humor, pain, and compassion in the often excellent dialogue. (Avila)

R. Buckminster Fuller: The History (and Mystery) of the Universe Project Artaud Theater, 450 Florida; 626-DOME, www.foghouse.com. $25-35. Extended run: Thurs/12-Sat/14, 8pm; Sun/15, 2pm. Fuller was one of the great brainiacs of the 20th century, a philosopher, mathematician, inventor, and idealist who devoted his life to finding the best fit between nature and humanity. In D.W. Jacobs's fitful, two-hour monologue based on the life and writings of Fuller, actor Ron Campbell dexterously pings from one of the visionary's obsessions to another, inhabiting Fuller's eccentric soul with physical and verbal intensity. (Veltman)

Silent Movie Exit Stage Left, 156 Eddy; 289-6808. $10-25. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through June 28. Kinetic Theory Experimental Theatre performs a mimed play that recreates the style of silent films.

Snapshots from the World Croquet Championship of 1959 Actors Theatre of San Francisco, 533 Sutter; 296-9179. $5-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through June 28. Actors Theatre of San Francisco performs Keith Phillips's family drama, set on Block Island during the late summer of 1959.

Stripped The Next Stage, 1620 Gough; 673-0304, ext 3. $10-12. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through June 28. Combined Art Form Entertainment presents Tilted Frame Improv in a multimedia dramatic-comedic improv show that uses live video, music, and sound to take on the concept of reality itself.

*Thwak Post Street Theatre, 450 Post; 321-2900. $25-45. Tues-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Sun, 2pm. Through June 22. Australian duo the Umbilical Brothers (David Collins and Shane Dundas) come across as either human cartoons or the loudest mimes in the business. With little more than a microphone and their limber selves (give or take a hand puppet) they conjure a fantastic assortment of invisible yet visceral characters, including a pair of horses, a fly that won't die, an entire gas-grill menagerie, and a grenade-fetching dog. Philip Wm. McKinley directs this flawless, high-powered, and consistently funny set of aural and physical acrobatics. (Avila)

Tincture Exit Theatre, 156 Eddy; 673-3847. $12-20 (sliding scale). Thurs/12-Sat/14, 8pm. In Sean Owens's tantalizing new play, six women repeatedly struggle to put their experiences into words: "it's like licking an impressionist painting and tasting chocolate," says one character. Telling a twisty tale of the synesthetic relationships between six very different women through their quirky attitudes towards colors, the play is a funny and tender exploration of the widely differing ways people perceive the world around them. Despite Sharon Walton's elegantly and minimalistically staged production, the spunky ensemble cast has a tendency to pitch Owens's unctuous and at times garishly purple prose somewhere over the rainbow. If they toned it down a little, Tincture could be a pot of gold. (Veltman)

Wedding Singer Blues Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; (510) 527-7813. $15-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through June 28. Carla Zilbersmith performs her original, solo musical (formerly titled Six Songs in Search of a Story).

Wicked Curran Theatre, 445 Geary; www.bestofbroadway-sf.com. $30-85. Tues-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, Thurs/12, June 18-19, and 25, 2pm; no show Wed/11); Sun, 2pm. Through June 29. The back stories of the Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda the Good Witch are explored in this Wizard of Oz-inspired musical by Stephen Schwartz and Winnie Holzman, opening here in its pre-Broadway world premiere.

Bay Area

The Guys Berkeley Rep's Roda Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949. $10-54. Tues, Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Thurs/12, June 21, 26, 2pm; July 5, show at 2pm only; no show July 4); Wed and Sun, 7pm (also Sun, 2pm). Through July 6. Casts include Sharon Lawrence and Joe Spano (June 10-15); Linda Purl and Spano (June 17-22); and Jimmy Smits and Wanda De Jesus (June 24-July 5). It's not hard to imagine audiences overlooking The Guys' more obvious weaknesses in the wake of 9/11, even the hokey, vaguely self-serving dialogue and tedious construction. This early and unique contribution could be welcomed for what it was: an attempt to offer a community outlet for grief, and a sincere salute to some very brave souls who died serving their city. But as it moves away from New York and the events of Sept. 11, 2001, the play becomes less tenable, not only as theater, but also as an attempt to speak relevantly to audiences who've lived for two years with the savage war on terror unleashed and justified in the name of national security. (Avila)

Julius Caesar Bruns Memorial Amphitheater, Hwy 24 at Shakespeare Festival Way/Gateway Blvd. exit, Orinda; (510) 548-9666, www.calshakes.org. $13-49. Tues-Thurs, 7:30pm; Fri-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Sun, 4pm. Through June 22. See "A Powerful Attraction."

A Map of the World Ehmann Hall, Oakland YWCA, 1515 Webster, Oakl; (510) 436-5085. $16-19. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through June 29. TheatreFIRST performs David Hare's play, set at a United Nations conference on poverty.

The Odd Couple San Jose Repertory Theatre, 101 Paseo de San Antonio, San Jose; (408) 367-7255. $20-48. Tues-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 3pm); Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through June 22. San Jose Repertory Theatre performs Neil Simon's classic comedy.

Pericles Shakespeare at Stinson, Highway One at Calle Del Mar, Stinson Beach; (415) 868-1115, www.shakespeareatstinson.org. $16-23. Fri-Sat, 7pm; Sun, 6pm. Through June 29. Shakespeare at Stinson kicks off their season with the Bard's romantic tale of loss and redemption.

*under milk wood Eighth St. Studio, 2525 Eighth St, Berk; (510) 704-8210. $10-20 (previews, pay what you can). Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through June 22. Shotgun Players present Dylan Thomas's wonderful but rarely produced "play for voices" on the 50th anniversary of its first public performance (an event shortly followed by the poet's untimely death). Wafting through the public and private lives of an assortment of oddball characters in the imaginary Welsh fishing village of Llareggub, Thomas's lyrical, rotating narrative plumbs the depths of consciousness, unearthing the extraordinary in the quotidian, and the madness in the ordinary. Ingeniously adapting for the stage a play intended for radio, director Gina Pulice, in excellent harmony with movement designer Amy Sass, first calls attention to and then explodes the pretense of a poetry reading, whereupon her lithesome eight-member ensemble cast leaps with all 16 feet into an enraptured embodiment of the play's action and images. (Avila)

dance

Mary Armentrout, Merlin Coleman Lab, 2948 16th St; 864-8855, www.thelab.org. Fri-Sat, 9pm. $10-20 (sliding scale). The Lab presents the longtime collaborators in "Dreaming Out Loud Again," an evening of new dance theater works.

Chamberdance, Academy of Ballet Cowell Theater, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna; 441-3687. Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. $16-20. Academy of Ballet students and professional dancers perform; the program includes a world premiere by Amy Seiwert.

Harupin-Ha Butoh Dance Theatre ODC Theater, 3153 17th St; 863-9834. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. $14-25. See Critic's Choice.

Moscow Stanislavsky Ballet Orpheum Theatre, 1192 Market; 512-7770. Swan Lake: Wed, 8pm. Giselle: Fri-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Sun, 2pm. $45-85. See "Fresh 'Lake.' "

Navarrete x Kajuyama Dance Theater Dance Mission Theatre, 3316 24th St; 273-4633. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 6pm. $17-20. The company explores two cultural traditions – Mexico's Dia de los Muertos and Japan's Obon Festival – in the premiere of Ghost Memories.

Michael Sakamoto Noh Space, 2840 Mariposa; 621-7978. Mon-Tues, 8pm. $10-15. See 8 Days a Week.

'San Francisco Ethnic Dance Festival' Palace of Fine Arts, 3301 Lyon; 392-4400, www.ethnicdancefestival.org. Sat-Sun, 2pm (also Sat, 8pm). Through June 22. $22-36. This week: Diamano Coura West African Dance Company, the Minoan Dancers, Mythili Kumar and Abhinaya Dance Company of San Jose, Murphy Irish Dancers, Sri Susilowati and Pusaka Sunda, Westwind International Folk Ensemble, Likha Pilipino Folk Ensemble, and Te Mana O Te Ra.

Bay Area

'Kalanjali Summer Festival 2003' Julia Morgan Center for the Arts, 2640 College, Berk; (925) 798-1300. Sun, 2pm. $12-25. Different styles of Indian dance are performed.

Kendra Kimbrough Dance Ensemble Alice Arts Center Theater, 1428 Alice, Oakl; (510) 801-4523. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. (Also June 21, 8pm, Buriel Clay Memorial Theater, African American Art and Culture Complex, 762 Fulton, S.F.) $15-28. The company performs Rarity of Me, a world premiere multimedia work featuring volunteers from Women Against Rape.

Maria Bermudez y Sonidos Gitanos Julia Morgan Center for the Arts, 2640 College, Berk; (925) 798-1300. Fri, 8pm. $29-32. The company performs flamenco music and dance.

performance

'Eighth Annual Faux Queen Pageant' Slim's, 333 11th St; 331-1500, ext 3438. Sun, 9pm. $10-25 (no one turned away for lack of funds). Klubstitute Kollective presents a pageant for "drag queens trapped in real women's bodies."

'Fauxgirls!' Marlena's, 488 Hayes; 864-6672. Sat, 10pm. Free. Anjelica Devarox and Victoria Secret host a drag cabaret.

'Hair-trigger Heart' Spanganga, 3376 19th St; 841-8817. Fri-Sat, 7:30pm. $8-20. Ida Acton's new multimedia extravaganza follows the roadside adventures of gender-dysmorphic antihero Haskal J. Lonesome.

'Halo-Halo II: A Queer Pinay Revue' Bindlestiff Studio, 185 Sixth St; 974-1167. Fri-Sat, 8pm. $10-15. The Bindlestiff Studio presents this showcase of queer Pinay performers.

*'Heaven's Radio' Venue 9, 252 Ninth St; 515-1274. Wed-Sun, 8pm. $15-20. InkBoat and Footloose present an "absurdist Butoh play" ingeniously adapted from Samuel Beckett's radio drama, All That Fall. On the normally tiny but miraculously expanded stage at Venue 9, director-designer Allen Willner creates a remarkable visual environment, including an astonishing lighting design, to frame four separate but occasionally overlapping characters: an actress (Emily Fox) trapped in her dressing room; a Trickster (Shinichi Momo Koga) fondling an egg; an old woman (Tanya Calamoneri) dozing by her radio; and a large Pink Baby (Kinji Hayashi) emerging from his crib. From the old woman's radio meanwhile, glowing through a grimy window like a still palpitating heart, comes snippets of a ramblingly self-conscious monologue reminiscent of Joe Frank, interspersed with an eclectic score that includes original work by respected local avant-gardists Carla Kihlstedt, Dan Rathbun, Nils Frykdahl, and Dawn McCarthy. If the fractured, repetitive nature of the story line can frustrate our ability to fully enter this hour-long piece, Willner and his exceptional cast of actor-dancers convince us of the natural affinity between Butoh's peeling back of consciousness and Beckett's laughing-crying in the dark, and make this beautifully haunted and euphoric meditation on solitude something entirely unto itself. (Avila)

'I Swing like That: An Exploration of Jazz and Identity' Jon Sims Center for the Arts, 1519 Mission; 554-0402. Fri-Sun, 8pm. $7-12. Inspired by black gay musicians, Cedric Brown and the 1105 Trio delve into how identity is expressed through jazz music. Part of the National Queer Arts Festival.

'Intercourse: A Sex and Gender Recipe for Revolution' San Francisco LGBT Community Center, Ceremonial Rm, 1800 Market; 3340-QCC, www.queerculturalcenter.org. Fri-Sat, 8pm. $5-50. Leslie Feinberg, Kate Bornstein, and others perform in this series highlighting intersex, transgender, transsexual, and genderqueer issues. Part of the National Queer Arts Festival.

'The Metamorphosis of Karaghiozis' Randall Museum Theater, 199 Museum Way; www.randallmuseum.org. Fri-Sat, 7pm; Sun, 1pm. $10-15 (kids under 12 free). ShadowLight Productions presents a new play featuring Greek shadow artist Leonidas Kassapides and musical group Edessa.

'Rococo Risque, Lunatique!' Odeon Bar, 3223 Mission; 902-4151. Fri-Sat, 9pm. Through June 28. $10. Cabaret-burlesque-musical group Rococo Risque performs a new show featuring original music and guest performers.

'Rope' Presentation Theater, 2350 Turk; 566-9498. Fri-Sat and June 19, 8pm. Through June 21. $5. The Empty Pocket Players perform Patrick Hamilton's play about a failed attempt at committing the perfect murder.

Bay Area

'The Birds and the Beets: An Unconventional Love Story' Black Box, 1928 Telegraph, Oakl; (510) 451-1932. Fri, 7 and 9pm. $10. Puppets and Pie present an "old-time radio romance and mystery," featuring puppet performers and live music by the Peoples Bizarre Orchestra.

comedy

Double Play 2401 16th St; 821-3601. Fri, 8pm: "Hyena Comedy All-Stars," 8pm, $7.

Palace of Fine Arts outside lawn, Richardson at Bay; www.blueblanketimprov.com. Sun, 11am: Blue Blanket Improv presents a free workshop and improv show. Ongoing.

San Francisco LGBT Community Center 1800 Market; 865-5633. Mon, 8pm: "Monday Night Gay Comedy," with host Nick Leonard, $10-15 (sliding scale).

SomArts Cultural Center 934 Brannan; 3340-QCC, www.queerculturalcenter.org. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm: '¡Comedy, Por Favor!' with Marga Gomez, Monica Palacios, and Carmelita Tropicana, $20-22. Part of the National Queer Arts Festival.

Bay Area

Glenview Performing Arts Center 1318 Glenview, Oakl; (510) 915-1516. Sat, 8pm: The Oakland Playhouse improv troupe performs improv comedy, $15.

Temescal Arts Center 511 48th St, Oakl; (415) 869-5384, www.un-scripted.com. Sat, 8pm: "Improvised Bawdy Shakespeare," with the Un-Scripted Theater Company, $7-10. Through June 28.

spoken word

Open mics take place almost every night in cafés throughout the Bay Area. If you want to perform, show up about half an hour before start time to put your name on the list. A day-by-day guide to spoken word events and featured readers:

Wednesday: BrainWash Café 1122 Folsom; 440-5530. "Spoken Word Salon," with host Diamond Dave Whitaker, 8pm, free. Savoy Tivoli 1434 Grant; 362-7023. "Savoy Tivoli Reading Series," with featured reader Debra Grace Khattab, followed by open mic, 8pm, free. La Peña Cultural Center 3105 Shattuck, Berk; (510) 849-2568. "Cafe Poetry," open mic with host Kira Allen, 7:30pm, free. Edinburgh Castle 950 Geary; 885-4074. The Word Dancing Project hosts the Taurean Horn Press 29th anniversary celebration, 7:30pm, $5.

Thursday: Jon Sims Center for the Arts 1519 Mission; 554-0402. "Lit @ JSC," with Uchechi Kalu and MR Daniel, 8pm, $5-7. Part of the National Queer Arts Festival. Coppa D'Oro Cafe 3166 24th St; 826-8003. "Poetry on the Patio," spoken word and acoustic music open mic with host Charlie Getter, 6:30pm, free. Dalva 3121 16th St; 753-8091. "Poetry Mission," open mic and featured reader Mark Schwartz, 7pm, free.

Saturday: Caffe Sempione 641 Vallejo; 362-6317. "Caffe Sempione Reading Series," with featured reader Richard Hack, followed by open mic, 7pm, free. Berkeley Art Center 1275 Walnut, Berk; (510) 527-9753. "Rhythm and Muse," open mic with Maggie Morley and William Landis, 7pm, free.

Sunday: Cody's Books 2454 Telegraph, Berk; (510) 845-7852. "Poetry Flash!," with contributors to A Fierce Brightness: 25 Years of Women's Poetry, 7:30pm, $2. StudioZ 312 11th St; 252-7666. "San Francisco-Berkeley Unified Poetry Slam Finals," 8pm, $12. See 8 Days a Week. Hyena Playhouse 2390 Mission, Ste 10; 541-5610, www.holytitclamps.com/hubbub. "Hubbub: Queer Spoken Word," with host Larry-bob and featured reader Ian Philips, 3pm, $3.

Monday: Sweetie's Cafe and Bar 474 Francisco; sciaf@yahoo.com. Poetry open mic hosted by Susan Birkeland, 8pm, free. Priya Restaurant 2072 San Pablo, Berk; berkeleypoetryexpress@yahoo.com. "Poetry Express," open mic hosted by Mark States and featuring Kirk Lumpkin, 7pm, free. Perry's Joint 1661 Fillmore; 931-5260. "Celebration of the Word," open mic hosted by Jeanne Powell and featuring H.D. Moe, 7pm, free. Cafe du Nord 2170 Market; aklatte@sbcglobal.net. "Porch Light," storytelling series; this month's theme is "Brushes with Fame: The Starf***er Show," 8pm, $10.