Fun fact: The wide-awake – wired, really – planet Uranus passing through one's natal 12th house (which governs all your sleepy-time livin') can cause a person to suffer insomnia.

Aries

(March 21-April 19)

Listen, cowboy: like the has-been, country-singin', fried chicken-sellin' Kenny Rogers crooned, "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." How much power you have this week depends on your ability to know when to party hearty and when to call it a night.

Taurus

(April 20-May 20)

Screw "dream a little dream," Taurus; we're all about conjuring up great big Vegas-watt dreams for you this week, ones notable not only for their gargantuan-ness but also for allowing you to totally be yourself. Getting real deep with yourself will lead you to your next move.

Gemini

(May 21-June 21)

Here at the Psychic Dream Little Red Schoolhouse, we're scrawling some ABCs on the Gemini blackboard. They go like this: Dos and Don'ts, Wills and Won'ts. That's your homework for this week: finding out what the hell yours are. Knowledge is power; self-knowledge is self-empowering.

Cancer

(June 22-July 22)

Oh, it's so scary not to know, isn't it, Cancer? We're guessing you're shaking in your moon boots this week, jittery with questions about how all these life changes are going to turn out. Plugging into your own electric vitality will nudge the tricky transformations in the right direction.

Leo

(July 23-Aug. 22)

You're flexin' your muscles, but it's not to impress us with your brawn – it's a no-pain, no-gain of week for you lions. You're up for the struggle, though, because it's a task that hits your heart, your muscle of choice. While you're working up a sweat, keep your mind trained on your most utopian fantasy; it really could come true!

Virgo

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

We at Psychic Nurturing Mommies hope you're being very, very nice to yourself, Virgo. There's been a lot of drama in your astrological neighborhood, and how it all ends up will be influenced by how you're treating yourself. When the dust settles, you'll be left with something brand-new.

Libra

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

There's no way around it, Libra. You are going to have to have all those shitty conversations, the ones that make your belly clench up and your palms get clammy and your feet start itching in your sneakers. There is a glorious freedom awaiting you, but you're going to have to work for it.

Scorpio

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Open your eyes, Scorpio. You'd probably rather don a pair of industrial-strength rubber gloves, squish your peepers shut, and barrel through this deep-cleaning without seeing the ugly muck you're getting rid of. Sadly, that's not allowed. You've got to look at what scares you this week, then trash it.

Sagittarius

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

At Psychic Industries we understand it can be difficult to open your heart. Religions have built entire spiritual paths around it, Madonna has sung whole songs about it, and this week, Sagittarius, it is time for you to just friggin' do it. It's not only OK for you to be vulnerable, it's actually what the situation calls for.

Capricorn

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

In order to gift yourself with the great big positive affirmation you need to hear, you're going to have to find someone or something in your world to say no to. That's right – saying yes to yourself will mean scooting out on responsibilities others would like to rope you into. Does that sound OK to you? We'd like to hear you say yes.

Aquarius

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Oh, you're just in a big hurry to grow up, Aquarius. You're like those little girls traipsing around in tarty big-girl outfits, sashaying through the streets like tiny scandals. The perspective you're yearning for will come to you with the passage of time and simply can't be rushed. Now stop obsessing and enjoy where you're at.

Pisces

(Feb. 19-March 20)

Remember those T-shirts that read, "It's hard to be humble when you're great," or something similarly smarmy? Well, the smug comb-over guy in the decal had it all wrong. It's much harder to be humble in the face of something huge and scary that you have absolutely no control over, but that's when it counts. What also counts is understanding the difference between being humble and being a victim.

  Michelle Tea is an award-winning writer who is deeply enamored with the esoteric arts. Intuitive counselor Jessica Lanyadoo has been serving the Bay Area and beyond with her mind-blowingly accurate astrology and tarot readings for the past eight years.

Together they are Double Team Psychic Dream, an astrology-tarot collaboration that has been fraternizing with fate for the past five years. Call Lanyadoo for an appointment at (415) 336-8354. Write to Double Team at lovedoubleteam@hotmail.com.