Fun fact: If you were to ask, "Psychic Dreamers, which planet is most like the phoenix rising from the devouring, red-hot flames?," we would answer, "Pluto, the planet that governs the urge to destroy, rebuild, and emerge more powerfully from its own destruction."

Aries

(March 21-April 19)

The moment is right for you to do what you like – playfully butt heads with another type A ram in a macho mating dance, schmooze with VIPs, get soggy drunk and write a really great poem about it. There's so much goodness for you right now; simply choose how to experience it.

Taurus

(April 20-May 20)

OK, it's time to get into a tight huddle with Team Taurus and, you know, regroup a little, give yourself an internal pep talk, or maybe even plunk yourself down on the sidelines for a round or two. Don't worry – the game will be there when you've recuperated.

Gemini

(May 21-June 21)

Good news, Gemini: nothing's broken this week, meaning there's nothing for you to fix, so stop obsessing. Everything is as it should be, and if you can let go of your fear, there's potential for you to get totally high on your fabulous life.

Cancer

(June 22-July 22)

Would you rather be frozen with fear or running for your life? Sorry for the lackluster options, but this is a tricky week for you crabs. We at Psychic Motivators think that shaking off this numbing paralysis would be quite a good thing. It might not feel great, but at least you'll be moving forward.

Leo

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Leo, some might mistake you for jaded this week. Sure, you're sexy. You can have a dozen flings if that's what you're looking for. But there's a been-there, done-that perfumed haze clouding the air of your bedroom. And shallow pleasures won't satisfy your deeper heart-wants; it's time to bond with people who really get you.

Virgo

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Virgo, you are master of your own destiny this week, which should make you happy. If you want anything done right, you gotta do it yourself. So put the wheels of fortune in motion by giving away stuff you no longer need. What'll it be – a defense mechanism? old pots and pans? tired belief systems? You get to choose.

Libra

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Bend over, Libra. We burly and big-booted Psychic Dreamers are ready to give you the kick in the ass you seem to need right now. If you don't feel comfortable with virtual strangers giving you a motivating love tap, spending time with your family of choice and remembering who you are will also do the trick, so get going.

Scorpio

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

The song instructs that a mere spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, Scorpio. It does not advise huffing the entire bag like Little Chrissy in John Waters's Pecker. The intense growth you're experiencing might smart a bit, but moderation will best help you through it, so resist your natural urge toward the extremes.

Sagittarius

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Don't ask questions if you can't handle the answers, the traditional wisdom goes. But Sag, you do want the answers, truly you do, deep down in that spastically passionate heart of yours. So ask the damn questions – the truth isn't going to knock you down. Good to remember this week: at the end of the day, none of it is such a big deal.

Capricorn

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Whoa, Capricorn, you've been down there in the trenches of your soul, doing some heavy lifting, getting all grimy and sweaty. Climb out of your crevasse and have a glass of lemonade; take a breather. The world misses you, and perhaps you might miss the world as well? At the very least, you can recruit some bodies to help you out on your next big project.

Aquarius

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Oh my god, Aquarius, we know these horoscopes can be sort of flowery sometimes, sort of metaphorical (we try to keep it interesting, keep you on your toes), but we are being seriously literal when we tell you that right now is the time for you to make your move. You've laid the foundation, so go!

Pisces

(Feb. 19-March 20)

Little fish in the big, big sea, we would like to gently remind you of your wealth of inner resources. We think you occasionally forget this. Of course, these resources aren't going to completely relieve you of the frustration and fear you might experience, but we hope it'll prod you to draw on your vast well of inner strength.

  Michelle Tea is an award-winning writer who is deeply enamored with the esoteric arts. Intuitive counselor Jessica Lanyadoo has been serving the Bay Area and beyond with her mind-blowingly accurate astrology and tarot readings for the past eight years.

Together they are Double Team Psychic Dream, an astrology-tarot collaboration that has been fraternizing with fate for the past five years. Call Lanyadoo for an appointment at (415) 336-8354. Write to Double Team at lovedoubleteam@hotmail.com.