stage

Stage listings are compiled by Cheryl Eddy. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, Lara Shalson, and Chloe Veltman. See 8 Days a Week for information on how to submit items to the listings.

theater

Opening

Akin Next Stage, 1620 Gough; 435-7571. $15-20. Opens Thurs/10, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through July 26. Ripe Theatre presents the world premiere of writers-performers Noah Kelly and Sarah McKereghan's dark thriller.

Bethlehem Intersection for the Arts, 446 Valencia; 626-3311. $9-15. Opens Thurs/10, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sun, Mon/14, and Aug 4 (actors' benefit performance), 8pm. Through Aug 4. See 8 Days a Week.

Fire on Pier 32 Mission Cultural Center for Latino Arts, 2868 Mission; 437-4040, www.laborfest.net. $20. Opens Fri/11, 8pm. Runs Sat, 8pm; July 20, 27, 2pm. Through July 27. LaborFest presents Jack Rasmus's new play about the International Longshore and Warehouse Union and its influence on labor in San Francisco.

If You Ever Leave Me ... I'm Going With You Marines Memorial Theatre, 609 Sutter; 1-877-771-6900. $25-45. Opens Fri/11, 8pm. Runs Fri-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Aug 3. Husband-and-wife comedy team Joe Bologna and Renée Taylor perform their autobiographical comedy.

In the Neighborhood Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; 794-4848, plethorashow@yahoo.com. $15. Opens Thurs/10, 7 and 9pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 7 and 9pm. Through July 26. Plethora Comedy Troupe performs a comedy set in "Dejaville," a surreal town populated by bizarre characters.

Killing My Lobster GOOOAL!!! Magic Theatre, Fort Mason Center, Bldg D, Marina at Laguna; 558-7721, www.killingmylobster.com. $10-15. Opens Thurs/10, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through July 27. Killing My Lobster returns with a new show featuring comedic sketches about competition.

'Maid Exit Stage Left, 156 Eddy; 675-5995, www.crowdedfire.org. $15-20. Previews Fri/11, 8pm. Opens Sat/12, 8pm. Runs Fri-Sat and Aug 7, 14, 8pm; Aug 3, 5pm. Crowded Fire Theater Company performs Erik Ehn's postmodern mermaid fable.

Orphans Edinburgh Castle Pub, 950 Geary; 487-7994, www.orphansf.com. $10. Previews Fri/11, 7pm. Opens July 18, 7pm. Runs Fri-Sat, 7pm; July 20, 27, 3pm. Through July 27. Shari Carlson Studio presents a new interpretation of Lyle Kessler's drama about a pair of struggling brothers who stumble upon an unlikely father figure.

Sex Kittens in Hi-Fi New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972. $15-35. Previews Wed/9-Fri/11, 8pm. Opens Sat/12, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm; July 20, 27, Aug 3, and 10, 2pm. Through Aug 10. See 8 Days a Week.

Spike Heels Venue 9, 252 Ninth St; 289-2260, www.inquiline.org. $15. Opens Thurs/10, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat and July 21, 8pm. Through Aug 2. Inquiline Theatre Company performs Theresa Rebeck's Pygmalion-style tale about a man who transforms a waitress into a businesswoman, then falls for her.

'Summer Shorts: Crossed Wires' Exit Theatre, 156 Eddy; 1-877-838-7601. $10-25. Previews Fri/11, 8pm. Opens Sat/12, 8pm. Runs Fri-Sat and Aug 7, 14, 8pm; Aug 3, 5pm. Through Aug 16. Isis Arts Collective performs nine short, politically themed one-acts that "reflect fragments of a fragmented country."

The Vomit Talk of Ghosts Exit on Taylor, 277 Taylor; 419-3584, www.cuttingball.com. $12-20. Opens Fri/11, 8pm. Runs Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Aug 16. See 8 Days a Week.

Bay Area

A Comedy of Errors Shakespeare at Stinson, Highway One at Calle Del Mar, Stinson Beach; (415) 868-1115, www.shakespeareatstinson.org. $16-23. Opens Fri/11, 7pm. Runs Fri-Sat, 7pm; Sun, 6pm. Through Aug 31. Shakespeare at Stinson performs the Bard's mistaken identity comedy.

Kiss Me Kate Woodminster Amphitheater, Joaquin Miller Park, 3300 Joaquin Miller, Oakl; (510) 531-9597, www.woodminster.com. $17-29. Opens Fri/11, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sun, 8pm. Through July 20. Woodminster Summer Musicals presents the Cole Porter play.

The Merry Wives of Windsor Forest Meadows Outdoor Amphitheater, Grand Ave, Dominican University, San Rafael; (415) 499-4488. $15-25. Opens Fri/11, 8pm. Runs Fri-Sun, 8pm; Sun, 4pm. Through Aug 17. The Marin Shakespeare Company performs Shakespeare's comedy, resetting it in 1970s Marin County.

Private Lives Theater Arts Main Stage, Heller at Meyer, UC Santa Cruz (use west entrance), Santa Cruz; (831) 459-2159. $10-36. Previews Tues/15 and July 16, 7:30pm. Opens July 18, 8pm. Runs July 26, Aug 7, 9, 17, and 23, 2pm; July 30, Aug 6, 12, 14, 19, and 24, 7:30pm; Aug 2-3, 8, 16, and 22, 8pm. Through Aug 24. Shakespeare Santa Cruz performs Noel Coward's comedy about marriage and divorce.

The Rover This week: John Hinkel Park, Southampton at Somerset, Berk; (510) 420-0813, www.womanswill.org. Free. Sat/12-Sun/13, 1pm. (Also Sat/12, 6pm, Centennial Park, across from 5353 Sunol, Pleasanton.) At various Bay Area parks through Aug 24. All-female Shakespeare company Woman's Will performs Aphra Behn's 1677 rowdy carnival tale.

Ongoing

Antigone Zeum Theatre, 221 Howard; 1-888-462-2838, www.acteva.com/go/shakes. $17-22 (previews $5). Previews Wed/9, 8pm. Opens Thurs/10, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also July 17, 2pm); Sun, 2pm. Through July 20. The African American Shakespeare Company performs a hip hop adaptation of the classic Sophocles tragedy.

Are We Almost There? Shelton Theatre, 533 Sutter; 345-7575. $20-22. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Open-ended. Travel is the theme of this musical comedy revue.

Cocksucker: A Love Story Theatre Rhinoceros, 2926 16th St; 861-5079. $20-30. Extended run: Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through July 20. Theater Rhinoceros presents writer-director Ronnie Larsen's double-tale about a man named Isaac (the sympathetic Octavio Saez De Ibarra) with a unique penchant for fellatio who cross-dresses solely to maximize his opportunities; and two childhood friends, Joshua and Jimmy (Joshua Feinman and Ronnie Kerr), who join the Marines only to wind up victims of a porn movie scam. Meanwhile, in an elaboration on the play's somewhat muddled theme of sex and politics, Bill and Hillary Clinton (Randel Hart and Michaela Greeley) and Monica Lewinsky (Anna Loar) together represent the head of state. The two main storylines (the latter one based on an actual incident involving Marines at Camp Pendleton) take a while to get rolling and never quite intersect convincingly. But there are some surprisingly compelling moments in this otherwise fitful comedy, especially in the realistic treatment accorded the young Marines (rendered with an all-American innocence by Feinman and Kerr) and their casual exploitation at the hands of a predatory military and commercial culture. (Avila)

'Comedy on the Square' Shelton Theatre, 533 Sutter; 522-8900. $15. Performances include "A Celebration of Silliness!" with Fred Anderson (Sun, 3 and 7pm; through Aug 30); "Heavy Petting Zoo" with Drunken Monkey Improv (Sun, 8:30pm; through July 27).

Death and the Maiden Theatre Rhinoceros, 2926 16th St; 861-5079, www.therhino.org. $15-20. Thurs-Sat, 8:30pm; Sun, 3:30pm. Through July 20. Mystic Bison Theatre performs Ariel Dorfman's play about a woman who confronts a man she believes tortured her years before.

Devil in the Deck Climate Theater, 285 Ninth St; 364-1411. $15-25. Extended run: Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through July 26. Paul Nathan stars in his one-person show about a con artist named Jack Swindle who travels the world performing magic and cheating at cards. Combining card tricks with stories, Nathan weaves the tale of a life that begins with an inauspicious tarot reading, an experience that instills in its protagonist an obsession with cards and the determination to cheat them (and life) at every turn. The fusion of mysticism, magic, and straight-up duplicity is pleasing, and when Nathan shows us exactly how his mesmerizing tricks are done, we are reminded that just because it's artful deception, doesn't mean it's not magic. However, Nathan's storytelling is less beguiling than his card manipulations and Swindle's character remains as two-dimensional as the Jack of Spades that slips between his fingers, while his studied smarminess turns the women who fill his stories into little more than paper dolls. (Shalson)

Howard Crabtree's When Pigs Fly New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972. $18-38. Extended run: Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through July 27. The last theatrical extravaganza created by costume designer extraordinaire Howard Crabtree and his longtime collaborator, lyricist Mark Waldrop, before Crabtree's death in 1996, this zany musical revue depicts Crabtree's dream autobiography. The familiar setup opens on a series of campy sketches, borrowing from a range of musical genres, about finding joy in the face of adversity. The rainbow-colored sensibility feels dated at times, but Waldrop's new pieces written for this production – torch songs for the likes of Dick Cheney and Pat Robertson, performed with eye-fluttering sincerity by Jeff Manabat – are clever and timely. (Shalson)

I Look like an Egg, but I Identify as a Cookie Chez Spencer, 82 14th St; 646-0924, www.subvert.com. $12-20. Opens Sun/13, 7:30pm. Runs Sun-Mon, 7:30pm. Through July 28. Heather Gold presents her new solo show, an autobiographical comedy that also includes the baking of cookies during the performance.

Let's Pretend I'm Not Your Mother Climate Theatre, 285 Ninth St; 364-1411. $20. Extended run: Thurs-Sat, 9:30pm. Through July 26. Titillation Theatre helps inaugurate Climate Theatre's new venue with writer-director Jennifer Hotcher's cabaret: a smorgasbord of sex in the city that kicks off with a course on how to undress for your lover, conducted by a professional stripper (Hotcher), and pulsates right through 10 more sexy, frequently funny vignettes. The show has been bouncing around a number of small venues for the last year (between police raids), and the momentum has paid off. The sketches may be uneven in conception, but the cast is aces and consistently pleases. (Avila)

Little Mary Sunshine Goat Hall, 400 Missouri; www.openstage.org. $10-20. Thurs/10-Sat/12, 7pm; Sun/13, 2pm. OpenStage Repertory Theater performs a musical spoof that pays tribute to classic movie musicals and 1920s operettas.

Love and Taxes Magic Theatre, Bldg D, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna; 437-6775, www.zspace.org. $25-27. Extended run: Wed-Sat, 8:30pm; Sun, 2:30pm (also Sun/13, 7:30pm). Through Aug 3. Bay Area "outsider" Josh Kornbluth premieres his latest monologue, recounting the famed nonconformist's "detour into the system" through the U.S. tax code. Framing the tortured and blissful days surrounding the making of his independent film Haiku Tunnel is a secret shame: a mounting "tax problem" resulting from seven years' delinquency, interrupted finally by the guiding sleight of hand of a high-powered tax attorney named Moe. Meanwhile, a budding relationship ensues with Sara, the neurotic girl of his dreams, who insists on bending his antiestablishment proclivities to her more conventional worldview. In his familiar conversational style, replete with acute observations, Spaulding Gray-like epiphanies, and visual aids, Kornbluth revisits his relationship with his beloved father, the eccentric communist celebrated in Red Diaper Baby. Unfortunately, in measuring the distance he must travel from his father's ideals to cope with a new relationship and new responsibilities, the show ends up dwelling on a less interesting cast of characters. Further underlining that distance is the less than inspired Capra-esque ending after Mr. Kornbluth goes to Washington. Directed by David Dower, it's a likeably self-indulgent piece, but at a little over two hours it can be a little taxing too. (Avila)

Nora (A Doll's House) Phoenix Theatre, 414 Mason; 820-1460. $10-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through July 19. Second Wind Productions presents Ingmar Bergman's modern adaptation of the Ibsen classic.

R. Buckminster Fuller: The History (and Mystery) of the Universe Project Artaud Theater, 450 Florida; 626-DOME, www.foghouse.com. $25-35. Extended run: Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Ongoing. Fuller was one of the great brainiacs of the 20th century, a philosopher, mathematician, inventor, and idealist who devoted his life to finding the best fit between nature and humanity. In D.W. Jacobs's fitful, two-hour monologue based on the life and writings of Fuller, actor Ron Campbell dexterously pings from one of the visionary's obsessions to another, inhabiting Fuller's eccentric soul with physical and verbal intensity. (Veltman)

San Francisco Mime Troupe's 'Veronique of the Mounties' This week: Cedar Rose Park, 1300 Rose, Berk; (415) 285-1717, www.sfmt.org. Free. Sat-Sun, 2pm (live music at 1:30pm). At various Bay Area parks through Sept 1. One of the few compensations of the Bush years, for sub-millionaires anyway, is the chance to see Ed Holmes reprise his role as Dick Cheney in a new San Francisco Mime Troupe show. Inaugurating its 42nd year of free theater in the park, the Mime Troupe serves up Michael Gene Sullivan and Bruce Barthol's punchy tale of government high crimes and misdemeanors, wars waged for corporate profit, a mind-bending maple leaf, and a swinging "undisclosed location" pad for the American V.P. Staying, in other words, firmly within the realm of imagination, Veronique of the Mounties posits the inevitable redirection of the war on terror northward to Canada whose only hope is the Ameri-phobic super-Mountie Veronique Du Bois (Velina Brown), bearing a conspiratorial resemblance to Condoleezza Rice, and her American contact, a rebel librarian (Keiko Shimosato). Complete with half a dozen musical numbers (backed by composer-musical director Jason Sherbundy's cookin' three-piece band), the wacky but wise story suggests that peace lies in international solidarity as much as homegrown opposition to flag-waving pseudopatriots. Don't let the name fool you: this mime troupe long ago ran out of things not to say. (Avila)

*Urinetown: The Musical Geary Theater, 415 Geary; 749-2228. $16-66. Wed/9-Sat/12, July 15-19, 22-26, 29-31, Aug 1-2, 5-9, and 12-16, 8pm (also Wed/9, Sat/12, July 16, 19, 23, 26, 30, Aug 2, 6, 9, 13, and 16, 2pm); Sun/13, July 20, 27, Aug 3, 10, and 17, 2pm. Through Aug 17. See "Independence Daze."

Bay Area

*Arms and the Man Bruns Memorial Amphitheater, off Hwy 24 at Shakespeare Festival Wy/Gateway Blvd, Orinda; (510) 548-9666, www.calshakes.org. $13-49. Tues-Thurs, 7:30pm; Fri-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Sun, 4pm. Through July 27. See "Independence Daze."

Attempts on Her Life New venue: La Val's Subterranean, 1834 Euclid, Berk; 1-866-GOT-FURY, www.foolsfury.org. $15-20. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through July 19. foolsFURY remounts their acclaimed production of Martin Crimp's avant-garde play about the various identities of a mysterious woman.

Barefoot in the Park Playhouse, 27 Kensington, San Anselmo; (415) 892-8551, www.mctheatre.com. $10-18. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through July 20. Marin Classic Theatre performs Neil Simon's comedy about New York newlyweds.

Cookin' at the Cookery: The Music and Times of Alberta Hunter San Jose Repertory Theatre, 101 Paseo de San Antonio, San Jose; (408) 367-7255, www.sjrep.com. $26-66. Tues-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 3pm; Wed/9, noon; Sat/12, show at 4pm only); Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Aug 3. San Jose Repertory Theatre presents the musical, starring Tony winner Ann Duquesnay as the late blues legend Alberta Hunter.

Proof Mountain View Center for the Performing Arts, 500 Castro, Mountain View; (650) 903-6000. $20-48. Wed/9-Sat/12, 8pm; Sun/13, 2pm. Ethereal theoretical mathematics meets mundane family tragedy, professional ambition, and young love, all on the back porch of a Chicago home, and in David Auburn's Proof, it's impossible to say which province is the more complex. This partly testifies to the play's strengths, its suggestion of the ineffable in both genius and the human heart. But it also points to the fact that the recent Broadway sensation, now enjoying its first Bay Area production courtesy of TheatreWorks, doesn't really lead into the realm of mathematics, except in a perfunctory way, while sketching the emotional realm only inconsistently. In fact, given all of the ballyhoo generated a couple of years ago by Auburn's Pulitzer Prize winner, it's surprising how incomplete it feels. Robert Kelley's direction can overindulge the play's sentimental tendencies, but he gets solid performances that hint at the deep themes lurking (sometimes pretty far) beneath the surface of this gentle, humor-laced drama. (Avila)

Thérèse Raquin Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822. $28-38. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through July 27. Aurora Theatre presents Emile Zola's closet melodrama, adapted from his scandalous and very popular second novel about an infidelity gone horribly wrong. Thérèse (Stephanie Gularte), adopted daughter of Madame Raquin (Joy Carlin), slowly suffocates in a loveless marriage to her benefactress' sickly son Camille (Jonathan Rhys Williams) until she takes his strapping friend Laurent (Mark Elliot Wilson) as her lover. Together they have a good enough time of it to plot Camille's murder. But after marrying with Madame Raquin's blessing, the haunted, miserable couple grow increasingly paranoid and guilt-ridden until they finally wreak the dead man's revenge on themselves. This early work from the father of naturalism, for all its presumption of cold scientific objectivity, obviously has a hefty moral streak to it, while its psychological and gothic aspects bring to mind a sexy French version of Edgar Allan Poe. Tom Ross's meticulous direction gets nice performances all around, though Williams's Camille plays so well against the conspiring lovers that it's a shame he gets bumped off in the first act. Owen Murphy, Stephen Pawley, and Danielle Rae Levin lend admirable support as the annoyingly ever present houseguests. (Avila)

*The Wyrd Sisters Berkeley City Club, 2315 Durant, Berk; (510) 558-1381. $8-20. Thurs/10-Sat/12, 8pm; Sun/13, 5pm. Gary Graves and the rest of the coven at Central Works have a rare knack for taking classic plays, simmering them down to the essentials, and tossing out the bulky pieces. This time the spell is cast on Macbeth, and what was once a sprawling tragedy is now a shrewd and teasing comedy, a chamber piece instead of an epic history. Two sisters, ambitious Beth (Rica Anderson) and mild and merry Bennie (Claudia Rosa), escape a storm to find themselves in a curiously decorated house inhabited by a witch (a cackling, brogue-toned Sandra Schlecter, in preeminently witchy regalia). Madness, murder, and a melon ensue. As ever, Central Works never loses the thread of the story, the acting is always lucid and quick, and the manipulation of the space – here, the incomparably gothic Berkeley City Club, so imposing, it's almost another character – is perfectly ingenious. (Baghdachi)

dance

Aguas da Bahia Presentation Theater, University of San Francisco, 2350 Turk; 931-1302, www.aguasdabahia.com. Fri-Sat, 8pm. $13-15. See 8 Days a Week.

Anne Bluethenthal and Dancers Dance Mission Theater, 3316 24th St; 273-4633. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 6pm. Through July 20. $18-20. See 8 Days a Week.

'Summerfest/dance presents West Wave Dance Festival 2003' This week: McKenna Theater, San Francisco State University, 1600 Holloway; 345-7575, www.summerfestdance.org. $18-25. The annual festival, which runs through July 27, highlights contemporary dance by West Coast choreographers. This week: Conversations, by Kunst-Stoff (Wed, 8pm); "Choreographers and Composers Consortium" (Fri-Sat, 8pm). ODC Theater, 3153 17th St. "OneNightOnly!," works by Kegan Marling, Funsch Dance Experience, EmSpace Dance, Spinning Yarns Dance Collective, and Brittany Brown (Tues, 8pm). See Critic's Choice.

'Twilight Worlds' New College of California Theater, 777 Valencia; 609-4236. Fri-Sat, 8pm. $5-10. Mia Rovengo, Kamala Devan, and Jade Raybin in association with the Experimental Performance Institute present this evening of original, solo dance-theater works.

Bay Area

Seán Curran Dance Company Evert B. Person Theatre, Sonoma State University, 1801 E. Cotati, Rohnert Park; (707) 546-8742. Fri-Sat, 8pm. $15-30. The company, which specializes in athletic, often comedic dances, performs to the music of Janacek, Kreisler, and Dvorak, with live accompaniment.

performance

BATS Improv Bayfront Theater, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna; www.batsimprov.com. $8-12. This week: "The Summer Games Rounds Two and Three" (Fri-Sat, 8pm); "Saturday Night at the Movies" (Sat, 10:30pm); and "Micetro" (Sun, 8pm).

'Bawdy Shakespeare' Shotwell Studios, 3252A 19th St; 869-5384. Sat, 8pm. Through July 26. $7-10. The Un-Scripted Theater Company performs an improvised, naughty humor-infused Shakespeare-style play.

Nomy Lamm SomArts, 934 Brannan; nomypress@hotmail.com. Thurs, 9pm. $10-25. The self-described "badass fastass jew dyke amputee" performs a multimedia version of her latest album of "rock theatrics," Effigy (YoYo Recordings).

'Runway 15: The 2003 Mr. and Miss GAPA Pageant' Herbst Theatre, 401 Van Ness; 392-4400, www.cityboxoffice.com. Sat, 7pm. $20-50. The Gay Asian Pacific Alliance hosts their annual pageant celebrating Asian and Pacific Islander achievement.

'Travel(mono)logues' Marsh, 1062 Valencia; 826-5750. $8-22. This series, performed by travel writers, includes Tales from the Edge with Jeff Greenwald and Jesse Kalisher (Thurs-Sat, 8pm; through July 19) and Wild Women Wander the Globe, with Lynn Ferrin, Carla King, Adair Lara, and others (Tues/15, 8pm).

Variety show Center for Variety Arts, 608 Taraval; 242-4433, thecenterforvarietyarts@yahoo.com. Fri-Sat, 7:30pm. Through July 19. $10. This show includes a "Blacklight Theatre" performance, circus acts, and other unusual talents.

'Women's Work' Venue 9, 252 Ninth St; 289-2000, www.venue9.com. Tues, 8pm. Through July 29. $8-10. This week: Malena Garcia presents her dance work Belen; Aya de Leon performs her hip-hop theater solo, Thieves in the Temple: The Reclaiming of Hip Hop; and Paducah Mining Company performs This World Is Not My Home.

Bay Area

'From Piers to Plantations: A Union in Hawaii' La Peña Cultural Center, 3105 Shattuck, Berk; www.laborfest.net. Wed, 7pm. $10. LaborFest's 10th-anniversary celebration (themed "A War on All Fronts") includes a performance by Ian Ruskin about the life of Harry Bridges, a union organizer in Hawaii.

Miracle Malone Xanadu, 700 University, Berk; (510) 466-5666, www.miraclemalone.com. Sat, call for time. $15-20. The comedian hosts a "male exotic show" with performers Ali, Hott Chocolate, and Dsire.

comedy

'Blue Blanket Improv' Check Web site for times and locations. www.blueblanketimprov.com. Blue Blanket Improv presents a free workshop and improv show. Ongoing.

BrainWash Café 1122 Folsom; 861-3663. Thurs, 8pm: Comedy open mic hosted by Tony Sparks, free.

Double Play 2401 16th St; 821-3601. Fri, 8:30pm: "Hyena Comedy All-Stars," $5.

Fort Mason Center Marina at Laguna (check daily events sandwich board to see exact location); 453-9092. Sat, 1-4pm: Improv workshop with Jim Crenna, $10. Ongoing.

Java Source 343 Clement; 387-8025. Fri, 10:30pm and Sat, 10pm: Comedy open mic hosted by Tony Sparks, free.

Luggage Store 1007 Market; 255-5971. Tues, 8pm: Comedy workshop with Tony Sparks, $3.

San Francisco LGBT Community Center 1800 Market; 865-5633. Mon, 8pm: "Monday Night Gay Comedy" with host Amy Boyd, $8-15 (sliding scale).

spoken word

Open mics take place almost every night in cafés throughout the Bay Area. If you want to perform, show up about half an hour before start time to put your name on the list. A day-by-day guide to spoken word events and featured readers:

Wednesday: BrainWash Café 1122 Folsom; 440-5530. "Spoken Word Salon," with host Diamond Dave Whitaker, 8pm, free. Savoy Tivoli 1434 Grant; 905-8837. "Savoy Tivoli Reading Series" with host Mark Schwartz and featured reader David Gollub, 8pm, free. Canvas Cafe 1200 Ninth Ave; 504-0060, mike@westcoastvideo.net. "Open Mic Talent Showcase," 7:30pm, free.

Thursday: Coppa D'Oro Cafe 3166 24th St; 826-8003. "Poetry on the Patio," spoken word and acoustic music open mic with host Charlie Getter, 6:30pm, free. Dalva 3121 16th St; 753-8091. "The Poetry Mission" open mic with featured reader Charles Curtis Blackwell, 7pm, free.

Saturday: Caffe Sempione 641 Vallejo; 362-6317. "Caffe Sempione Reading Series," with featured reader Richard Stone, followed by open mic, 7pm, free.

Sunday: Cody's Books 2454 Telegraph, Berk; (510) 845-7852. "Poetry Flash!," with Ruth Daigon and Andrena Zawinski, 7:30pm, $2. 21 Grand Gallery 449B 23rd St, Oakl; (510) 444-7263. "New Brutalism Series" with experimental poets Ron Silliman and Mary Burger, 7pm, $4.

Monday: Sweetie's Cafe and Bar 474 Francisco; sciaf@yahoo.com. Poetry open mic hosted by Susan Birkeland, 8pm, free. Perry's Joint 1661 Fillmore; 931-5260. "Celebration of the Word," open mic hosted by Jeanne Powell with featured readers April Martin Chartrand and Bill Pieper, 7pm, free. Canvas Cafe 1200 Ninth Ave; 504-0060, www.thecanvasgallery.com. "Fifth Annual San Francisco Battle of the Bay Poetry Slam and Fundraiser," presented by NorCal Spoken Word, 8pm, $10.