Take That
By Gabriel Roth
Off
the sauce
GO TO THE front lines of the battle against the tendency of
everything to suck worse than it already does, and you know who you'll
find in the trenches? Cranks. Ideologues of the trivial. It takes a
crank to fight for the small things that global capitalism is busy stuffing
into the trash compactor in the name of efficiency. Barbecue, for instance.
Barbecue, by definition, is not efficient. True barbecue consists of
meat cooked over a wood fire for hours on end. There are cheaper sources
of fuel than wood, and there are ways to cook meat more quickly, but
none of them give the meat that distinctive, complex taste that is often
oversimplistically described with the word smoky.
Which is why we need cranks like Bob Kantor. Kantor, the genial, walrus-mustached
visionary behind Memphis Minnie's, is devoted to preserving proper barbecuing
technique defending it against those agents of efficiency who
would stick a side of pork in the oven, cover it with sauce, and label
the result "barbecue."
Kantor and his staff will cook many meats for you: brisket, pork butt,
pork ribs, beef ribs, turkey, chicken, sausage. I think I've tried all
of them at one point or another, and I decided some years ago that the
brisket was what it was all about, and I've never seen any reason to
go back. Here is what there is to say about the brisket: it's fucking
incredible.
Take-out customers will be tempted to get the brisket on a sandwich
instead of in a Styrofoam carton for downloading onto a plate. I have
no animus toward sandwiches sandwiches are my life but
I strongly recommend against the sandwich option in this instance. The
bread tips the wet-dry balance of the meat conclusively toward dry;
the slices of brisket are crammed on top of one another too densely
to fall apart the way they want to. When the brisket is on a sandwich,
you wind up chewing it effortfully; when it's on a fork, you
just slide it into your mouth and let it do its magic victory dance
in there.
The off-a-plate meals come with a choice of two side dishes; the sandwiches
come with one. Quick side-dish roundup: The greens are less tough and
stringy than most, and less bitter; they taste strongly of vinegar.
The potato salad, very mayonnaisey, is great. The beans taste like they've
got some barbecue sauce in them, which is a good thing in and of itself
but maybe makes them a poor choice for purposes of contrast. The coleslaw
is good and pickley.
Memphis Minnie's offers three kinds of barbecue sauce: Texas (red and
tomatoey), South Carolina (mustard-based), and North Carolina (vinegar-oriented).
As a Texas red-sauce partisan, I will say that the red sauce at Memphis
Minnie's is as good as any I've ever tasted, and I've driven across
the South three times, and eating barbecue was central to my purpose
every time. I'm not really qualified to pass judgment on the others
partly because I didn't go through the Carolinas, and partly
because it's hard for me to forgo an opportunity to eat the Texas red
sauce for more than a bite or two.
But waxing rhapsodic about the sauce runs counter to Kantor's whole
project. My comrade-in-takeout Brian L. Perkins tells this story: He
orders the brisket over the phone, and he shows up to pick it up, and
he says, "Can I get a few extra things of sauce with that?"
Kantor won't give it to him. "Barbecue's not about the
sauce!" Kantor says. "It's about the taste of the meat! Why
do I cook it for 18 hours if you're just going to drown it in sauce?"
Brian is always ready with a quick reply, so he says, "Then why
do you make the sauce so delicious?" perhaps the only time
these words have ever been uttered in anger. I can't tell you how Kantor
responded to this question because Brian actually didn't think of this
quick reply until later, when relating the incident to me; in real life
he nodded and slunk out of the restaurant with only the standard
and, for his purposes, insufficient amount of sauce.
"I try to educate folks about sauce," Kantor says. "I'm
reacting to the forces of sauce, the forces of evil, the dark side."
(He really talks like this.) "The capitalists are in the sauce
market. They have co-opted the idea of barbecue and turned it into sauce.
We shouldn't take these liberties. It's not right."
Eat-in customers are free to deviate from Kantor's uncompromising ethic:
there's a bottle of each kind of sauce right there on the table. For
takers-out, though, there's just a little plastic tub. If you really
want to subvert Kantor's mission, you can buy a bottle of the sauce
and take it home. Your counterrevolutionary tendencies will be noted.
Memphis Minnie's. 576 Haight (at Steiner), S.F. (415) 864-PORK.
Tues.-Sat., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sun., 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Beer, wine, and sake.
American Express, Discover, MasterCard, Visa. Wheelchair accessible.
E-mail Gabriel Roth at gabrielroth@yahoo.com.