STEVE AND I were at the Super Burrito because we didn't get into the free screening of Pirates of the Caribbean at the Galaxy he had tickets to, because we were late. We were late because five minutes before our ETD, I rushed off to San Jose Taqueria for a veggie burrito, to go. I had only five minutes to spare because it took me nearly an hour to figure out how to copy files from a floppy onto a CD while simultaneously instructing an inquisitive volunteer on the nuances of such English-language expressions as "obsessive-compulsive."

Only after I made short work of an amuse bouche of radishes and shredded lettuce at the taquería, and was hard at my one-fisted entrée, did it dawn on me that more than five minutes had certainly gone by ... and that I had absentmindedly said to Steve, "Meet me at 24th and Valencia" ... which was not where I was. Thus my 20-minute trajectory from one fast-food joint with worthy fare and bolted seating to another – albeit the latter's seats swing to and fro, not unlike the teacups of Disneyland's Mad Hatter ride. Our meals took less time to order, prepare, and consume than it took us to motorcycle from the Mission to Polkstrasse. A foodie coworker of mine just got back from his first trip to Paris, where he'd had the best meal of his life. Not the best food, he said, the best meal: "We've got plenty of great food here but a great meal is harder to come by." What made the meal so great? It took a long time; this is not surprising, considering the mandatory 35-hour French workweek (as in, you're forbidden to work more). Who needs to eat quickly? On this side of the Atlantic, those of us with mandatory 40-hour workweeks, or just poor time-management skills, may find ourselves in need of food – fast. "Fast food" has an aggravating synaptic association with the creeping evil of those franchised purveyors we love to hate: McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, et cetera. It's as though they've set up a little colony in our brains (and elsewhere: in April, Pizza Hut and Burger King opened branch on a British military base in Basra, Iraq). Here's a suggestion we can all try at home: Take back fast food – emblazon an image in your mind of your personal nonconglomerate-purveyed favorite. An El Farolito burrito raised in a fist is a popular option, and a Sunrise Deli falafel is also highly recommended.

Proposals on how to eat healthily while eating fast usually take the "lesser of numerous evils" route by comparing the nutritional values of the aforementioned fast-food monoliths' offerings and suggesting that one get the grilled version sans mayo or cheese. Or they advise the thrifty, actually healthy solution: pack snacks – fruit, carrot sticks, edamame, nuts, and so forth – to munch at leisure.

But let's say you've had it with the tamari-roasted almonds, and you want a meal in 10 minutes or less. There are a fair number of much tastier (and usually healthier) alternatives to the monoliths – a Vietnamese sandwich, falafel, taco, bento box, or prepackaged salad or sushi from Trader Joe's or your local supermarket are just a few of the pleasurable options. We're lucky enough in San Francisco to have plenty of locally owned, nonchain (or OK chain) choices. Which is probably why Arby's is introducing the California Chicken Salad sandwich – one of its new line of "gourmet" sandwiches – in Michigan and South Carolina, not here.

Of course, fast eating of any kind is not the optimal choice. Eating quickly isn't good for your digestion and means that you'll almost certainly eat more than you need to, since the body needs a little lag time to recognize that it's full. Plus, eating out usually means food cooked with more fat and salt than the food we cook ourselves.

Conglomerate-purveyed fast food has come under increasing scrutiny in the past few years, and obesity is a buzzword. Criticism recently materialized in the form of a proposed tax on junk foods, as well as in a class-action lawsuit against McDonald's – the suit alleges deceptive advertising of dangerous foods that cause obesity. The fact that fast-food advertising heavily targets children is also attracting the attention of litigators, legislators, and health professionals. The food industry being one of the largest and most powerful in the nation – it's 13 percent of the GNP and employs 17 percent of the labor force – this emerging battle will no doubt be long and hard-fought. Can we sue our way to health? Obesity lawsuits are probably not the solution, if the problems are that we have a culture of instant gratification and that some Americans neither have a clear concept of what healthy eating means nor want to "eat healthy."

Incidentally, obesity seems to have some inverse correlation to income and education. No surprise that the state of Mississippi ranks among the lowest in education and the highest in obesity. But I guess there's no use getting blue in the face with suggestions of nutritional education, curtailing suburban sprawl, and produce-distribution programs, when we're all set with our pet national solution: Band-Aid litigation.