WE ASKED OUR readers to participate in the Bay Guardian's third annual Sex Issue by answering one simple question: "Are you hot?" Many of you responded in the affirmative, and in general our Hotness Contest judges agreed with your assessment. With such a wealth of hotness to sift through, the judges had a tough time narrowing down their choices. Below are the five winners they finally decided on. (Note: some categories proved immensely popular; others, not so much. We eliminated where necessary.)

Hottest bear: Phil Locke

Phil Locke says his hottest feature is his eyes, and that may be so, but our judges didn't have to look that close to know Phil was their man. The reaction went something like this: a unanimous "Awwww!" followed by comments such as "Unbelievably cute" and "He deserves some honey ..." Interested parties looking to soften this bear up should carry in their CD collection Mark Kozelek's "Ruth Marie," the song guaranteed to bring Phil to tears. Those looking to meet him have their stalking work cut out for them. Phil says the best place to find him on a Saturday night is "dining out with friends."

Hottest drag king: The Transformers

We know, we know – there are five hottest drag kings in this photo. But as the Transformers – from bottom left, Drew Montanna, "the quiet storm"; Tin Hardware, who's gained fame for his "chiseled good looks and his chair-humping abilities"; Jake, a "butch in the streets, femme in the sheets"; Collin Sick, quite simply "a top"; and Jay Blue, known for his "thrusting pelvis" – wrote in, "We're so hot, we had a lot of trouble picking just one." So did our judges. And when they learned that the Transformers' measurements were "600 pounds and 40 inches of fabulous glitter love machine"; that the song guaranteed to leave them weeping was New Kids on the Block's "Please Don't Go Girl"; and that they were responsible for the project Boy Bands Against the War – it was all over. On a Saturday night fans can find these bad boys "under the flashing lights of the dance floor, in the boudoir with chocolate sauce and cherries, curled up on the couch watching '80s brat pack flicks, in the studio recording our next smash hit, or backstage at a Justin Timberlake concert."

Hottest indie rocker: Madigan Shive

There are so many sexy things about a cello-playing indie rocker, our judges got flustered just thinking about them. So when Madigan Shive wrote in that one of her best features was her cello-player hands (other notables: "a swan neck" and "a brain obsessed with utopian ideals and avant-pop music"), they were pretty much sold. Shive's indie rock credits go back to Seattle's Tattle Tale, which she started at age 16; now she plays cello and guitar and sings in the well-known S.F. band Bonfire Madigan. Claiming her measurements are "Desire x Determination x Destination," Shive is unashamed to admit to several songs guaranteed to bring her to tears, with Toni Childs's "Womb/Death" and Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" at the top of the list.

Hottest clean-cut nonprofit worker: Cynthia Nagendra

San Francisco is crawling with sexy clean-cut nonprofit workers, but in the end our judges had to go with Cynthia Nagendra (who discreetly asked us not to disclose her place of employment). After all, she classily refers to her hottest feature as her "décolletage," her measurements can be summed up as "va-voom," and one of the best places to find her on a Saturday night is at the Lusty Lady "performing outreach to strippers in exchange for lap-dances" (other likely places to look: Adobe Books, where she sometimes performs; a back table at Zeitgeist). What really broke our judges' hearts, though – undeniably hot photo aside – was a carefully thought-out answer to the question "What song is guaranteed to make you cry?" For Nagendra, it all comes down to how much hard alcohol has gone under the bridge: Before whiskey, she says, all it takes is a little "Patience," by Guns 'N Roses; after whiskey, Gladys Knight's "Midnight Train to Georgia" should do the trick.

Hottest tattoo addict: Jade-Blue Eclipse

Anyone who's seen Jade-Blue Eclipse's astounding strip performances at "In Bed with Fairy Butch" or elsewhere around town is likely to approve of our judges' decision on this one. Those still not convinced should consider checking her out at "Pearls before Swine," a party for dykes and trannies taking place Sept. 26 at Club Galia (see "Fetish Fabulous," page 29). As Jade-Blue puts it, "I'm a tattoo addict, but I think I'm in a category of my own." Asked to choose a favorite feature, she mentioned her abs but also wanted to put in a good word for her handstands. We can't imagine why anyone would want to make Jade-Blue cry, but just in case, the recommended song is Tricky vocalist Martina Topley-Bird's "Anything," off her new solo album, Quixotic.