Aries (March 21-April 19)

A confusing and humbling week for you, Aries, we're not happy to say. It might be unclear to you what needs to go, but the feeling that something has to be chucked out your life's back door will be a powerful one. Please just let it go so we can get back to giving you the wild, blissed-out 'scopes you deserve.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Of all your needs this week, Taurus – and no doubt they are many – the one with the biggest, sharpest fangs is your need for autonomy, with a capital A, possibly with a circle scrawled around it. Allowing yourself some independence might free you from the fear, jealousy, and possessiveness nagging at you.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

So much energy buzzing around your neck of the skies this week, Gem, and what are you going to do with it? Have a party? Jump out of an airplane, maybe learn to fly one? Your mental landscape has become so sweet and pastoral; we think it's time for you to grab it like a snow globe and mess it up.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

God, Cancer, you've got such a great life. We think you've worked incredibly hard for it and totally deserve it. This week try not to be one of those people who can't take a compliment, 'cause we see many successes being shot in your direction. Let them help you move beyond certain lingering disappointments.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

You're lost in emotion this week, Leo. You're all caught up in your feelings. You're the lyrics to a dozen soft rock hits from the 1980s. The antidote to this irritating smushiness is to give in to your craving for structure. Like Ashford and Simpson sang: solid, solid as a rock.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You're just so damn competent, Virgo, you make the rest of the zodiac look like freeloading trust fund kids with recreational-drug problems. The reward for all this responsibility is that you are now totally ready for a big exciting change – to reel something in or cut it loose is the question.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Maybe, Libra, you need to plummet to the icky depths of your current self-esteem crisis in order to find all the love and happiness that's waiting for you on the other side. Have your breakdown like a true child of Venus: lock yourself away in a pampering steam room or something and have a gut-purging cryfest.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

What you need this week, Scorpio, is an open mind. Other things to pack into your toolbox include an equally open heart and a whole bunch of optimism. These personal effects may not slow down the neck-breaking pace of your superspeedy life right now, but they'll aid in the elimination of overwhelmingness. Is that a word?

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You don't have the answers. And how could you, Sag, seeing as you don't have the questions? Good thing we've brought them with us. They are: Which relationships make you feel like the coolest cat in the alley? Which ones make you feel like vampires have sucked your soul away? Your answers will provide you with your action.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

We've got a plan for you, Capricorn. You needn't thank us. We're actually paid to do this. You need swift verbal action: spit it out! Next, a nice, grounded peek at your past, followed up by some solid building toward your future. And be really, really honest with yourself.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You've got this gorgeous faith that things are going to turn out OK, and it's very inspiring. But Aquarius, what are we going to do about that sorrow? You know, the sadness that keeps stabbing at your good cheer and relentless optimism? We think immersing yourself in really loving friendships is a great start.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

You've got it pretty damn together, Pisces, together enough to make the most of the fabulous opportunities currently arising in your sphere. We're talking about the ones that are sparking up from within you, the excellent opportunities you are now so generously granting yourself.

  Michelle Tea is an award-winning writer who is deeply enamored with the esoteric arts. Intuitive counselor Jessica Lanyadoo has been serving the Bay Area and beyond with her mind-blowingly accurate astrology and tarot readings for the past eight years.

Together they are Double Team Psychic Dream, an astrology-tarot collaboration that has been fraternizing with fate for the past five years. Call Lanyadoo for an appointment at (415) 336-8354. Write to Double Team at lovedoubleteam@hotmail.com.