DEAR ANDREA: My best friend is into different things in the bedroom. She has suggested that my boyfriend and I try Popsicles and Pop Rocks. We're willing to try, but are they are safe to use during sex? Is there anything about using them that could be harmful?

Love,
Sweetie

Dear Sweets: Your best friend is into silly things in the bedroom. You may want to turn elsewhere for suggestions.

Of course, just because I would be rendered helpless by giggles if someone came at me with candy meant for any purpose other than eating doesn't mean you'll be. Clearly, people are into this stuff or can at least take it seriously enough to try it before the hilarity becomes too much to bear.

There is a common belief that use of sweet stuff in the vagina will lead to yeast infections, which makes perfect sense in that yeasts thrive on sugar, but I couldn't tell you if it's true. For women prone to yeast infections, it's prudent to avoid feeding the resident beasts. Sugary ice pops will make a disgustingly sticky mess anyway, so I would suggest eschewing Popsicles in favor of plain old ice. You can get molds for all sorts of ice pops, including porny ones and cool Flash Gordon rockets that look like the Empire State Building.

I choose to believe you are not silly enough to literally freeze your asses (or whatevers) off and have to report to the E.R. with a deeply embarrassing and tragically permanent injury, so I won't even go into the safety concerns around ice. As for the Pop Rocks question, well, I know I've answered that one. And will again. Sigh.

Love,
Andrea

Dear Andrea: My boyfriend and I haven't yet tried anything new in the bedroom. I like the sex we have, but it's starting to be the same old thing. I've mentioned some of the things I'd like to try, but he's kind of old-fashioned. Do you have any ideas of simple but new things I could bring to his attention? And is the candy Pop Rocks safe to put on your clitoris? I think that would be really interesting.

Love,
Getting Bored

Dear Bored: I wouldn't stake my sexual salvation on Pop Rocks if I were you.

There are endless things you could try (although in my more cynical moods I agree with my friend M, who asserts that there are in fact 12), but just listing them isn't going to change anything if your boyfriend doesn't want to do them. You weren't clear – perhaps you don't even know – whether he objects to branching out or just isn't picking up your hints. Let's go with the latter, because the former falls way outside my ability to help you.

If he's an old-fashioned boy, you may want to begin with old-fashioned kinks, avoiding electrical (and especially electronic) devices to start. Have you tried the old romantic evening stand-by of bathing together, followed by lovely, long massages, fancy dress-up, and decadent snacks? Fur mitts and feathery, tickly things fit in well with this scenario, as do the more retro, Bettie Page-ish forms of BDSM. Nothing to do with pain, mind you, just romantic sex games like "I tie you (quite loosely) to the bed and tease you till you beg for mercy." Role-play of the naughty whatever/bratty whatever type fits in well here, too.

Other possibilities are adding toys, watching porn (for the turn-on and for bright new ideas), and adding new acts (donning a dildo and bending him over, for instance). He has to at least try to muster up some enthusiasm, though. We can't have you strutting around in your strap-on, boots, and bustier, wielding a feather duster in one hand and a prostate-massager in the other, while he lies there idly flipping through cable channels.

Love,
Andrea

Dear Andrea: My boyfriend keeps telling me I need to be more creative in bed. I have no idea where to start, but I would really like to be able to please him. Could you give me any tips?

Love,
Stymied

Dear Sty: Have you tried Pop Rocks? Seriously, your boyfriend is not being helpful. "Be more creative" is not a suggestion; it's a way of avoiding taking responsibility for his own satisfaction. You can poke around (in your own psyche, at the video store, on the Web) for new activities that turn you on, but you can't read his mind. My guess is he's got an idea and he's hoping you'll stumble on it while flailing around trying to be "creative." Ask him to come out with it already and stop making you guess.

Love,
Andrea