HANG ON A minute while I uncrumple this lined, yellow, and dubiously grease-stained piece of notebook paper on which I've scratched reminders about what happened last night. Let's see what it says here: "Feels like Less Than Zero. Everyone has undergone stylistic shift from 1984 to 1979. (I don't understand the fashions of the late '70s; I was born in 1978.) An obligatory guy that looks like Terry Richardson, Vincent Gallo, and J.D. Sampson from Le Tigre underwent a gene splicing."

Ah yes, it's all flooding back to me now. We were at Fluid on Mission at New Montgomery. Light-up dance floor for the Thriller generation, with half of the third-year class of the San Francisco Art Institute. As usual, the DJ was the least fashionable person in the room. I think he was Tokyo Electric's Caltrop. Whoever he was, his button-down Banana Republic shirt was not on point, but his Italo disco and '80s-tinged punky house jams were extremely fresh. Holding down the bar area were 10 suits sipping merlot. I thought maybe the Morgan Stanley staff had finally gotten "hep" to dance clubs, but they turned out to be telecommunications workers from England and Germany. Apparently, techno clubs are to Europeans what TGI Friday's are to Americans: places where they can drink and feel at home. Go figure.

The party – thrown by Betty (a.k.a. Vitamin B) – was a good one, but too many days in a row of being overworked and underpaid have left me feeling like a dishrag. It was either get faded or go home, and I must be getting old, because I decided to go home. I'll say 20 Hail Marys to the party gods ... or maybe just take two Aleve and call them in the morning.

Best things since sliced bread

In my last column I whined for somewhere nonretro to go, and my pleas were answered in the form of four e-mails in my inbox. (Don't laugh – that's four more than I usually get.) I was reminded about the monthly Trouble party, which has indeed been pushing things forward since April 2002, with improvisational techno, ambient IDM, ragga dancehall, clicks, cuts, and electro. They got kicked out of Amnesia after slices of bread were drunkenly thrown around (which later turned to a gluelike substance on the floor). But they were back last Saturday at Li Po Lounge, and the nerds raged on to microhouse from Seattle's Orac Records crew. Not sure when their next clusterfuck dancebomb will be, but you can check out www.mochipet.com/trouble for the latest.

Speaking of techno, Berlin's Monolake stops in town this Saturday for a special show at Naut Humon's Recombinant Media Labs. If this all sounds a bit futuristic, that's because it is. Monolake purveys some great textural, sweeping atmospherics – not dance floor exactly, more like take a muscle relaxer and lose yourself for a while. Opening up is Montreal's Deadbeat, who does the whole laptop buzz, whirr, click thing but with deep, dubby bass that makes it sound – and feel – different. Local star Kit Clayton of Orthlorng Musork DJs as well. Expect the unexpected.

And finally, if you have even the most basic interest in reggae or dancehall, you should check out DJ Ivier's Wisdom Records. At the corner of Mission and Silver, next to Joe's Cable Car restaurant, the store sells all the latest 7-inches from Jamaica, mix CDs for novices, and relevant accessories for the reggae head, like weed slipmats, string vests, Rastafarian shoelaces, and even red, gold, and green hand towels. The hand towels are supposed to be for waving around your head like a helicopter at dancehall events, but they could double as cum towels if you checked your pride at the bedroom door.

Monolake. Sat/24, 8 p.m. and 11 p.m., Recombinant Media Labs, check Web site for location. $10. (415) 863-3068, ext. 811, www.asphodel.com.

Zod Records tour, breakcore and neorave, with Emotional Joystick and Curtis Chip playing live with DJs Destro and Vitamin B. Sun/25, 10 p.m.-2 a.m., 1751 Social Club, 1751 Fulton, S.F. $6. (415) 441-1751. 21 and over.

In-Famous featuring Princess Superstar, presented by Virgin 69 and Red Wine. Jan. 30, 10 p.m.-2 a.m., 111 Minna Gallery, 111 Minna, S.F. Call for price. (415) 974-1719. 21 and over.

Wisdom Records. 4308 Mission, S.F. (415) 841-1258.