Aries (March 21-April 19)

Aries, you've been tusslin' with some rough 'n' tumble notions lately, but this week you begin to get a real gut-level, full-body feel for what's been going on. We're talking about hunches and revelations that ring true and make you feel fantastically open to the brand-new ram you're becoming.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Your stubborn nature frequently serves you well, Taurus, and this is another week when sustained effort nabs the goods. We here at Psychic Industries do think you'll be feeling an urge to move impulsively toward what you're after, but thankfully your cautious mind has its foot on the brake.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

This week brings you a mighty karmic lesson, astute Gemini. On the one hand, you've got your wild, dynamic, and more controlling urges; on the other, a softer need to learn how to be emotionally present without being a codependent mess. Pull it off and you've scored a multiball on the pinball machine of life.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

We know you really want to remain emotionally open, Cancer (sure, your symbol is the shelled-in crab, but you're ruled by the lush and goopy moon). We're here to tell you that the best way to stay present for everyone (yourself included) is to cease placing judgment on whatever it is you desire.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Leo, you're wicked impatient. You're waiting for phase two of life to kick in, but phase two is on its own time, and there isn't shit you can do about it. Cultivate a sense of trust that everything is on schedule and give yourself a massive and relaxing break. You'll soon feel far less overburdened and overwhelmed.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

We have a suggestion, dear Virgo. The most expedient (don't you love that word, expedient!) way to move through your present situation is to not resist it. We know your inclination is to get all mental, but we're here to tell you that the best way out of this confusion is to cut the scrutinizing.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

It's not too late, Libra! It's not too late to get rid of that thing you've recently brought into your life, the one that's dragging you down and bumming you out. Your relationship to your most loved projects is getting irritated by this unpleasant new addition; please trash it promptly.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

We at the Psychic Discotheque can't really recommend that you go out and do a bunch of drugs, but we wholeheartedly endorse the sex and rock 'n' roll parts this week. You're overwhelmed; we say reconnect with the one or two things you're really interested in, and then abandon yourself to some fun.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Things are changing in a really far-out, cosmically spectacular way, Sagittarius. And they're changing because you're actively doing the work to create a badass future for yourself. Keep up the efforts, especially the ones that work to free you from family-rooted relationship dramas.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Capricorn, your bubble has been popped, or at least it feels that way. As you go about processing this slightly disappointing sensation, try to keep your head open to new ideas. Your path might be a tad muddy this week, but it's the right path for you, so continue onward with your slow and steady pace.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You don't have to do anything but be yourself this week, Aquarius. Which sounds like a total slacker vacation, except that simply letting you be you could be a challenge. What if it's the sad you? The angry, antisocial you? Remain present, no matter how unpleasant your internal environment may be.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

It looks like you've got some big plans for yourself, Pisces, which is excellent. It also looks like there's a host of busybodies getting all up in your business, all with different ideas about your future. Your job this week is to be grounded enough to discern who is there to help you grow and who's taking up space.