I FELT PROFOUNDLY uncomfortable – a lot like in high school. It was Frisco Disco (a.k.a. Saturday night at Arrow Bar), and I'd been roped into attending the Hipster of the Year awards, and I remembered how much I hate the cool kids. This guy known as Moustache – who looked like a homeless man and was holding a sock monkey wearing a scarf – gave a speech about the difference between hipsters, scenesters, and posers. The girl hipster of the year wore a flapper number made out of tiny cocaine bags, which, judging by the blank look on her face, she appeared to have sniffed from liberally. The guy hipster of the year kept it together, despite having been caught by the cops doing lines in his pink limo earlier in the evening. A gay, DIY, ghetto-tech slut named Houston Bernard rapped about getting it up the ass with his flaccid phallus hanging out, and some guy who looked like Ryan Seacrest go-go danced with his shirt off. Who says nothing happens in San Francisco?

While waiting 15 minutes for a Corona and pondering whether or not Arrow is our own little Studio 54, I was also struck by how obsessed everyone seems to be with contests and pageantry these days. Forget 15 minutes of fame; most everyone's content with 15 seconds – sort of like a garage version of American Idol. I guess if nobody's rewarding you for putting on great outfits and making outstanding monetary contributions to the underground economy, you should just reward yourself. Since half the town is unemployed, everyone will have time to read all about the event on Myspace.com, in between working on their blogs. Web profiles are to the '00s what fuck-me heels were to the '90s – an important tool for getting laid.

Rave new world

It may be true that no one can define irony and idealism is bleeding by the side of the road, but the same night the hipsters were crowned, I also saw the future of rave. I was at the Recombinant Media Labs warehouse way out in Bayview. The building is actually on the grounds of Candlestick Park, according to proprietor and Asphodel label owner Naut Humon, who used to do shows with Cabaret Voltaire and Einstürzende Neubauten at this space in the '70s. When I hobbled up to the door – high heels and wet gravel don't mix – the first thing I saw was Kit Clayton begging Humon to order him a pizza. "Do they deliver out here?" he was asking with an agitated look on his face.

Later I found myself standing next to Clayton and his pepperoni slice at what could rightly be termed A Rave Called Grown-Up. The music was Monolake's: minimal, with pulsing womblike bass in surround sound with a few clicks and sputters here and there to spice things up. Abstract visuals blossomed from giant screens, and 150 pairs of eyes searched the ceiling like they were at a Pink Floyd laser-light show. It sounded good, it was tasteful, and the libation of choice was beer – $3 donation. The event had the right mix of music, futurism, and even a tiny bit of optimism, but it was geared toward people who probably want to be home in bed by 2 a.m. And sometimes there's nothing wrong with that.

Get game

Video games have gone from being cool to being dorky to being cool again. Over at Rx Gallery, BOLT (the Bureau of Low Technology) is serving up the full spectrum of its old-school gaming consoles and games from 1972 through 1985 at "BOLT: A Low Tech Odyssey." For $5 you can face off over Pong, Defender, Donkey Kong, and Xevious, among other childhood favorites. And in case you need validation for your obsession, check out the "Bang the Machine" exhibit at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. It's actually quite a thought-provoking study of the links between virtual life and real time – and if nothing else, you'll trip on watching 50-year-old art patrons get aggro while playing the U.S. Army training simulation.

'Hot Damn! First Annual Hot Girl Pageant,' with DJs Apollo, Omar, Spair, Satva, and others, Fri/7, 9 p.m.-3 a.m., Club Six, 60 Sixth St., S.F. $8. (415) 863-1221.

'Bang the Machine' runs through April 4. Tues.-Sat., 11 a.m.-6 p.m. (first Thurs., 11 a.m.-8 p.m.), Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission, S.F. $6, $3 seniors, students, and youths, free for members (free first Tues.). (415) 978-2787, www.yerbabuenaarts.org.

'BOLT: A Low Tech Odyssey' runs through Feb. 28. Thurs.-Fri., 6 p.m.-midnight; Sat., noon-5 p.m. and 9 p.m.-midnight, Rx Gallery, 132 Eddy, S.F. $5. (415) 474-7973, www.rxgallery.com.

Notwist, with Themselves, performs Feb. 16, 8 p.m., Slim's, 333 11th St., S.F. $15, $17 door. (415) 255-0333.