DEAR DAME EVELYN , I know you're going to yell at me, but I'm going to admit the truth anyway: I like starch! I love starch, in fact. I can't help it. So please don't yell. I go to the gym four times a week to make up for it. What I want to know is, can you cook starches in the microwave? I know about potatoes, they work out all right, but what about polenta, and – my favorite – rice? I'm asking because I'm really not that comfortable with my stove. It's not even my stove; I rent an apartment, and the stove is this crappy thing that's probably been there for 50 years. Mice live in it, I think. My microwave, on the other hand, is great. I prefer to use it. What do you think?

Carbo-loader

Dumpling, Dame Evelyn is not as averse to starch as you suppose. She is only slightly averse, within reason. Starch is essential to good nutrition, after all, not to mention the pleasures of the table. Where would we be without bread and pasta – without, indeed, potatoes and polenta and rice? Where, for that matter, would we be without microwaves, which do have their legitimate uses, such as defrosting stock and reheating leftovers? But ... microwave polenta? I am sure you can find some in a box on some dusty supermarket shelf somewhere, if you look. Dame Evelyn's advice is not to look. Polenta is simply too easy to make the proper way, even on a crappy old stove. Rice, on the other hand, is very microwave-friendly: a cup of rice, a pinch of salt, a dab of butter, and two cups of water or stock in a covered microwave dish; full power for five minutes, half power for 13 or 14 more. (You have to experiment a bit to find out how powerful your machine is.) This method works perfectly for Dame Evelyn every time, and it means one less burner in use on the stovetop, and one less thing to worry about – to watch and stir. The microwave is self-policing, and that is more than we can say about quite a lot of people, especially with regard to the wonderful world of starches. No offense, of course.

Starchily,

E. G.-S.