Alert! Mercury retrograde! Still!

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Don't be scared, brave Aries. The quality of energy you've been sinking into what's dear to you is high enough that you can make the necessary changes without the whole damn thing caving in on your head. You're changing in such essential ways; it's only natural your relationships have to shift too.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

It feels totally stupid to tell you to think like a bull, Taurus. We mean, you are a bull. Duh. But you seem to have let your native bullishness slip away and are instead pretending to be a ram or a leaping, spazzed-out flower child. We'd like to see you return to your steadier self. We promise you'll see a reduction in your number of freak-outs.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

It's hard to be clear and communicate with others when you don't even know what you think, Gemini. Since it looks like you totally ignored our advice last week and declined to take a breather in your hectic schedule, we'd advise you to avoid trying to work things out with people until you're grounded. Not that you listen to us.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

This isn't the week of the rebuilding, Cancer. This is, alas, the week of the breakdown. The rebuilding will occur when you rise up, flaming like a queen, from the ashes of your burnt-down, tired-ass situation. For now just try not to freak out when what you've outgrown falls away. Blow it a kiss and kick it to the curb.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Asserting what you need in a relationship, when done from a place of self-love, is ultimately a celebration for everyone within 50 feet of you. We know it probably doesn't feel that way now, Leo, but as the circumstances develop, you'll understand why it's imperative that you be lovingly selfish.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

The problem, Virgo, is that you just can't let yourself have a good time, can you? There's this surge of beautiful abundance in your life, and you're having a wicked hard time integrating it, reconciling it, allowing yourself to accept that you can have this bounty – and enjoy it.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Don't be scared to go after what you long for, fair Libra. Maintaining a slow pace is important, so we do advise against getting completely carried away. But you're burning through so much karma right now with your balanced approach to relationships that the only danger is not reaching out for what you desire.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In order to create a new and healthy life for yourself, Scorp, you just might have to tear down everything you've been investing in and start over. This is one of those weeks that give you folks your reputation. We see you tumultuous, dealing with some deep shit. And the key word there is dealing.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

This is a great week to make a positive change, Sag. You've got buttloads of really gorgeous astrological energy waiting to work with you to get you what you want. Take maximum advantage of the situation: initiate, perpetuate, or propagate your own personal advancement.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

You might not see the movement you're waiting for, Capricorn, at least not this week. But don't let the slow-pokiness of the universe tear down your positively excellent attitude. You've put in the work, and the changes, we promise, are on their way. They're just on their own schedule too.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

This, Aquarius, is the week to really put yourself out there and take a grab at whatever it is you need, especially in the wily worlds of business. It's a great week, and you're likely to find yourself in the right place at precisely the right moment; take advantage by snapping up all the goodies you can fit in your pockets. That way you'll have lots to share.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

There are a few things you can control, Pisces, but only a few. You can control what you bring to the table, and it's up to you how much energy you want to put in. With one part humility and one part inspiration, we think you can do what you want to do this week. Meditation helps you be less of a control freak about it.