Aries (March 21-April 19)

What stands in your way this week, noble Aries, is the past: shit that has already gone down but remains lodged not just in your psyche but also in your physical being. Some sort of body memory is stirring, asking to be deprogrammed. If this sounds daunting, remember: the result is maximized freedom.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

You know what you remind us of, Taurus? Some urban dweller bird-watching while strolling to work. It's that sort of week for you: optimistic, positive, and upwardly mobile, in a spiritual sense. Sure, there remain some old beliefs holding you back, but just turn that focus on your insides and you'll have the knots untangled.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

You've got the raw, brute strength, Gemini, and you've got more serenity than a church basement full of recovered alcoholics, but you're missing one crucial gear for your forward-propelled ride: perspective. Just remember that things develop at their own pace, not at your whim and will.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

Cancer, we see you pushing ahead with a purpose fueled by righteousness, and we always enjoy seeing a Cancer bolting into the great unknown. However, we ask you to consider this little plop of wisdom: the best way to secure your future is to secure your present.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Fire, fire everywhere, Leo, but not a drop to help you motivate. You look positively soggy-bottomed from keeping your ass planted in that puddle of emotional frustration. Stay away from the heat in everyone else's kitchen this week and investigate your own hot spot: the heart, source of all your moldy discontent.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

We were talking to the universe, Virgo, and it said for you to focus on one thing this week: love. It might sound downright loony, but we'd like to see you taking a stab at acting like your astrological opposing sign, Pisces, those in-love-with-love fish creatures known more for intuitive wisdom than for cold mental logic.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Libra, if you're not sifting through hard feelings, you're in denial, and we all know from countless bumper stickers that denial ain't no river in Egypt! Please bestow some gentleness on yourself while you grapple with your emotions. The point, of course, is getting clear-headed enough to see how frickin' great your life is.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Whatever self-centered activity brings you pleasure, Scorpio, that's what we'd like to see you indulging in. But not in a shallow way – we want to see you really investing in and exploring a situation that perhaps in the past you'd decided was a bit too much for you. The time is ripe for a great big juicy change of heart and mind.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Sag, it looks like you feel good, and you probably feel like you look good! We say good for you, and keep sprinkling your spicy vim and vigor over the rest of us. But please take a minute to listen to whatever your feelings are trying to tell you. And don't forget to shake a dash of inspiration onto your own heart too.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

We can see you freaking out. But please don't be embarrassed: we're here to help, not judge! The simple fact is, you're changing. And the changes are demanding that you reevaluate some old patterns of behavior. If stress motivates you, continue. But in the words of wise astrologer Robert Hand, "Action speaks louder than suffering."

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

This is a twisty one, Aquarius, but you've got a twisty brain, so you'll comprehend. There's a difference between feeling your emotions and convincing yourself that you feel a certain way. We think the emotions you're telling yourself you're experiencing are a lot suckier than where your heart is really at.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

It's like the traveling carnival pulled into the parking lot of your heart, Pisces: good stuff all around. With this blast of goodness comes the stress of decision-making. There are some questions to ponder, like what to bring into your neon-lit future. Start by taking a moment to ground that body of yours – it's where all the action happens.